Can You Be Asexual But Still Want A Relationship?

One of the positives about the modern world is that people are able to talk more openly about sexuality and celebrate who they truly are. It’s helped people connect, given them new perspectives, and created an important discussion. The openness has also helped asexuality become more known.

Asexuality might not be known as much as being gay, bi, or straight, but people are starting to see it as a sexual orientation, like the others. If you identify as being asexual, or you have some questions about it that you’re embarrassed to ask, I’m here to help clear up some stuff.

First of all, can you explain what being asexual exactly means?

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, asexual is defined as “not having sexual feelings toward othersnot experiencing sexual desire or attraction.”

Could it be an issue with hormones or puberty?

Asexuality is seen as a sexual orientation— not a disorder or a disease — so there really isn’t an underlying cause of it. It’s true that some people might not feel sexual feelings until they reach puberty and the hormones kick in, but there are asexual people who go through puberty and do not have those feelings. It’s not a low sex drive, it’s how they feel.

Does that mean asexual people aren’t interested in relationships?

Not exactly. Everyone is unique so there are different shades of asexuality, just like there are different shades of being gay or straight. There are straight people who aren’t interested in relationships and some that are. Similarly, there are asexual people who are interested in relationships and some that aren’t.

To clarify, are asexual people into romance then?

It will vary on the person, but there are asexual people who are very much interested in the idea of finding love and having a romance. The thing is that they’re usually not as keen in exploring the sexual side of a relationship.

Are asexual people only attracted to asexual people?

Not necessary. Some might be looking for an asexual partner because they might find there is more of an understanding, but there are asexual people in relationships with people of varying sexual orientations.

Can someone really have a relationship without sex?

Absolutely. It all depends on what you and your partner are looking for in a relationship. It’s about meeting each other’s needs. And needs can vary from person to person. There are many asexual people who are in happy relationships. If you’re wondering, there are ones who also end up married.

Anything else?

The bottom line is to not get hung up on labels and about thinking you have to fit into a mold. Do what you think feels right. If it makes you happy, go with it. If you’re looking for someone and you find someone who makes you happy, enjoy it.  If you’re not into the idea of romance or sex, don’t worry, you do you. At the end of the day, it’s about making yourself happy, not society.

What did you know about asexuality before? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.


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