Is It Weird That I Don’t Like It When Bae Fingers Me?

Have you ever tried something that everyone says is great, but it ends up being mediocre at best? It’s happened to me on a few different occasions. I’ve been lured into trying weird foods that foodies hype up on social media, only to be totally grossed out, and I’ve heard friends rave about TV shows that are so boring I end up falling asleep while watching. Not to be dramatic, but it’s disappointing AF.

This can happen in all different situations, from fashion trends to new movies, and even to sex. You might feel comfortable admitting to your friends that you’re not down with a fashion trend or “cool” TV show, but you might not feel comfortable admitting that you don’t like something sex related, like fingering. In fact, you might think that there’s something wrong with you or even something wrong with your SO.

Don’t panic, here’s the deal if you’ve tried fingering, but you don’t really like it.

Tell me straight up. Is there something wrong with me if I don’t like bae fingering me?

No, girl. Everyone is different. Everybody has different sexual preferences just like people like different foods, colors, TV shows, etc. Just because you don’t like something someone else does it doesn’t make you weird. Got it? Some people are into anal. Others aren’t. Some people like blowjobs, others don’t. Some like it all, while others will leave it all behind.

What about if I like it when I finger myself, but I don’t like it when bae does it?

If you enjoying fingering yourself, you should look at the differences between what you do versus bae. You could notice something different and end up liking what bae does once he/she changes his/her technique. If you’re still not into it, do not sweat. As I said before, you’re normal. It’s a personal preference thing.

Nerves are something that can impact the situation when you’re with bae. I know it’s difficult, but try and relax when you’re with bae. That can help relax things down there and make the experience more enjoyable. Also, stop stressing that there is something wrong with your body or it smells down there. You’re normal and so it any scent down there.

Is there something wrong with bae?

After blaming yourself, you might be questioning bae’s technique. That is a possibly. If you’re intrigued about fingering, you might be interested in having another go at it, but being more vocal to bae about what you like or don’t like. You can also actually show him/her what you’re into if you enjoy fingering yourself.

Chances are bae isn’t clueless about vaginas and what you like. It could be that he/she is used to a different technique from another partner, or maybe he/she is trying out something he/she thought you would like. Remember, bae isn’t a mind reader, so sometimes he/she will guess in situations. If you’re not down, you should feel comfortable saying so.

Should I try it again?

If you want to try it again, by all means. Just remember that it should be your choice. You shouldn’t feel pressured to try it again if you really hated it.

If you didn’t like getting fingered by one person, it might be worthwhile to try it with a different partner. You might feel more comfortable, you might like their technique better, or maybe you will find that your stance on fingering changed. But, it’s still your call.

Are there any ways I can make the experience more enjoyable?

Lube. Remember that lube is your friend in a variety of sexy situations. If you’re nervous, it will impact things down there. i.e. It can result in things being tighter and less lubricated. Lube will reduce some of the friction, and hopefully increase the pleasure.

Remember the importance of communication. If you find something uncomfortable, don’t grit your teeth through it. Speak up ASAP.

Oh, and remember that long nails and rings do not enhance fingering. You can also try switching fingers if you find that longer, fatter ones are too painful.

How do you make fingering more enjoyable? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.

 

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