There are a lot of places that pressure can come from. You don’t need me to tell you that school and parents can be big sources of it. Not to mention the media and sometimes even friends. Our SOs can also put pressure on us. But, have you ever considered that you’re the one putting pressure on bae?
I know, you’re probably thinking that you would never do something like that. You’re not putting pressure on bae to do sexy stuff that he/she isn’t comfortable with. And you’re probably thinking that you try to treat bae like a king/queen. The reality is pressure doesn’t just come from sex stuff. What’s more, we can sometimes make people feel stressed out without realizing we’re doing it.
One way to find out if your significant other is feeling pressured is to ask, although he/she could deny it. Another way is to have a look at little clues that will reveal whether your SO is stressed out or not. If you notice some of them, don’t panic. It’s good that you’re picking up on them so you can then figure out (with or without bae) what you can do to stop making bae feel stressed.
Here are eight signs that you could actually be putting too much pressure on bae.
He/She Seems Stressed But Says Everything Is OkayHave you asked your SO if he/she is feeling okay and bae tries to force a smile and pretend that everything is fine? The reality is something is troubling bae. There's a possibility that it might not have anything to do with you, but if you're part of the problem, it's likely bae will want to pretend everything is fine rather than admit you're upping his/her stress. Image source: Getty
Bae Doesn't Mention His/Her Problems To YouCan you remember the last time bae was honest and said what was stressing him/her out? Did your SO often talk about his/her problems before, but things have recently changed? Similar to my last point, bae could be keeping his/her problems under wraps because of the pressure felt by you. Or, the problem might not have something to do with you, but bae is worried you'll add more stress so he/she keeps quiet. Image source: Getty
Your SO Doesn't Seem To Smile Or Laugh As Much...or they feel forced. Has bae's personality changed recently? If bae was normally happy-go-lucky and now he/she seems reserved around you, consider whether what you're saying and/or doing could be making him/her quieter. You could also try talking to your mutual friends to see if they notice a difference. If they don't, it could point to something you're doing. Image source: Getty
You Can See Tension In Bae's Body LanguageBody language can actually reveal a lot about a person and how they feel in a situation. Sometimes it's even more telling than what someone says. (People can lie about how they really feel.) That's why it's great to be clued into bae's body language in general. If you notice bae's back or shoulders get tense or he/she clenches his/her jaw when discussing certain things, some pressure is being felt. Image source: Getty
Bae Sometimes Avoids Your MessagesOkay, there are a lot of reasons why someone might ignore your texts. Bae could be busy, not like technology, or he/she might be feeling overwhelmed AF. To help narrow things down, consider whether bae avoids all of your messages or only certain ones. Also, think about what's in the messages. Are you sending reminders, asking bae a question, or sending a sweet hello? Image source: Getty
A Lot Of Your Conversations With Bae Are You Following Up About SomethingStop for a second and think about the number of times you ask bae whether he/she has done something. Do you do it multiple times a day? You might be doing it to spur bae on and help him/her, but it could have the opposite effect. Sometimes when people are procrastinating or struggling, the last thing they want is to have someone asking if they've done something yet. Image source: Getty
There Are Some Topics That Visibly Upset BaeIf you bring up school, the future, or something else, can you see bae grimacing, even if he/she is doing his/her best to look interested? Pay attention to your SO's body language when you're talking or doing certain things. If bae becomes tense during something, it's a sign that the subject is likely the root of the stress. Getting very quiet is another sign that bae is feeling overwhelmed. Image source: Getty
You Sometimes Feel Like You're Bae's Babysitter Or ParentDo you find yourself asking bae where he/she is or whether he/she finished that English assignment? Are you as concerned about bae's grades as much as yours? I get that you want your SO to do well and you want to help, but there's a fine line between encouragement and make someone feel smothered. Remember, bae already has parents and teachers who are hopefully looking after him/her. You can still help out, but it would probably be more effective if you're a cheerleader rather than another nag. There is a big difference. Image source: Getty
Has your bae ever put too much pressure on you? Let us know in the comments!
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