It’s December which means that it’s the time of year when people reflect back on the last 12 months and think about the good, bad, and the how-the-heck-did-that-actually happen. A lot of stuff went down this year that left us scratching our heads. I’m going to leave the TV shows, celebrities, and politics for another day and focus on vagina trends.
I don’t know about you, but as soon as I hear the words “vagina trend,” I am cringing. It’s normally because I know that it will be some totally random thing that someone with no true scientific evidence said is good for down there so a bunch of people start doing it. Then suddenly it’s a thing, just like mom jeans or rainbow highlighter.
2017 had a lot of vagina trends which people putting all sorts of unexpected things up there. And I’m seriously hoping that this stops next year for the health of everyone’s vaginas. Here are seven things people need to stop doing to their vaginas in 2018.
Putting Jade Eggs In Your VaginaOh, Gwyneth Paltrow, look what you did now. The actress's Goop has made people do a lot of interesting things to their bodies. Remember vagina steaming? For 2017, Goop discussed putting jade eggs up your vagina, taking the whole crystal thing to an entirely new level. Whether crystals work or they're a complete rip-off is a strong debate. Then you add vaginas into the mix. Just no. First of all, you cannot sterilize a jade egg as good as sex toys. Second, if you want crystal healing, hold the dang thing in your hand. Don't put it up your vag. Image source: Getty
Bleaching Your Lady BitsCan we all please make a New Year's resolution to keep the bleach away from our privates? And can we all learn to love the natural colors of our vaginas, buttholes, and anything else down there? It shouldn't matter whether they're darker, lighter, redder, or browner than the rest of our skin. FYI: Putting bleach on such a delicate area is crazy. Just think what bleach does to your clothes or hair. Image source: Getty
Putting Yogurt Up Your VagGuys, yogurt is good to eat, but it's not good for your vagina to, erm, eat. You might have heard the claims that putting some plain yogurt up your vagina is good to balance the bacteria. First, putting any food up your vagina is no bueno. Secondly, gynecologists have said that the strands of healthy bacteria in vaginas aren't even the same ones that are found in yogurt. So save that Greek yog for your smoothie, okay? Image source: Getty
Applying Vicks VapoRub Down ThereJust when we thought we were going to get through the year without anymore crazy vagina trends, we had the Vicks VapoRub one. People began rubbing the stuff on their vaginas like lube while masturbating or getting it on because of the cream's tingly sensation. People were even using it as some sort of feminine hygiene product. This has naturally freaked doctors out because Vicks is not meant for vaginas. If you use it down there, you could actually end up creating problems. Image source: Getty
Putting Wasp Nests In VaginasI probably sound like I'm going on one big massive rant here, but who would ever seriously get the idea to put a wasp nest anywhere near their vagina? If I see a wasp nest in a tree, I run away. It doesn't even matter if it's old and decomposing. Yet somewhere they started saying that putting crushed pieces of wasp nest up your hoohoo would tighten it. Of course, there's no medical proof for this. In reality, the wasp nest will throw off your body's pH and potentially cause an infection. And just think about how sanitary those things must be. Image source: Getty
Adding Yoni Oil To ItI know people are all about oils thanks to essential oils, but all oils are not good. Case in point: Oils for your vagina. Yoni oil went viral in 2017. If you were lucky enough to miss the memo, *yoni* also means vagina and suddenly Etsy was filled with all of these herb- an flower-infused oils for your vagina. Is there any scientific merit behind them? Not exactly. Plus, are there any real guidelines for vagina oils for sale on Etsy? Nah. Image source: Getty
Putting Garlic Up Your VaginaWhy oh why do people have such a desire to put random things up their vaginas? The rule we should all remember is that you should only put things up your vagina that are meant to go up it. Period. Putting garlic up there will not balance your vagina's pH or bacteria. Nor will it tighten it or bleach it. So, stick with using garlic in your tomato sauce. Image source: Getty
What other vagina trends do you think need to stop? Let us know in the comments!
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