8 Things You Have To Do If Your Relationship Ends Right Before The Holidays

There really is no good time for a relationship to end. However, getting dumped around the holidays can feel extra painful. Here you had visions of you and your SO attending holiday parties in matching ugly Christmas sweaters and having an *amazing* New Year’s Eve celebration together ending with the perfect midnight kiss. And now? Nothing. You have to return the gifts you bought early, and you’ll have no one to cuddle with during the season it seems like everyone has a bae.

Girl, I’m sorry that it had to happen. You probably won’t agree with me when I say this right now, but you will hopefully eventually see that it’s better things ended now. The holidays can actually be a pretty stressful time, so if you were already having relationship problems, the added festive pressure would likely have made things worse. Besides, now you’re able to focus on yourself and your loved ones.

I get that it might be tempting to hide in a cocoon until after New Year’s, but what’s jolly about that? I know you’re hurting, but a little holiday cheer can help you heal. If nothing else, it will help get your mind off the relationship woulda, coulda, shoulda’s. Here are some things you need to do if you and your SO have broken up before the holidays.


Surround Yourself With People You Love

The holidays are all about spending time with friends and family, but it's more important than ever that you surround yourself with loving, positive people. When you're surrounded by those who are special to you, you'll be able to focus on them. Plus, you'll be able to create amazing new memories. When you're doing that, your mind won't be focused on your ex.

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Plan A Girls Holiday Gathering

If you haven't planned a celebration for you and your girls, do it now. It doesn't need to be anything major. It could be as simple as going out to brunch or even keeping it casual with Netflix and chill. Whatever the situation, make it clear that it's a girls holiday gathering. That way, you don't have to worry about people showing up with dates and/or boyfriends.

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Do Not Feel Pressured To Attend Every Party

If you're not hermiting, you might want to attend every single gathering to distract yourself from your new single status. Everyone deals differently so if you want to attend the gatherings, go right ahead. Just remember that it's your choice and that if you're not feeling up to going, you don't have to put on a brave front for every single party. I still encourage you to attend one or two things even if you're feeling sad because seeing your friends and family will help.

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Focus On Giving Back

Remember what Christmas is all about? Being thankful and celebrating what we have. Giving back no matter the situation or time of year makes everyone feel good. When you do a random act of kindness when you're feeling sad, it can bring as much joy to you as it can the other person. Trust me. It could be anything from volunteering, to making a donation, or helping out a random person.

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Let People Know It's Just You Attending A Party Beforehand

I know that you might be dreading the idea of attending a party solo, especially after you've said you were attending it with your SO. To prevent the surprises and any confusion in person, send a text or email to people beforehand to let them know you're attending with yourself or your BFF. If you feel comfortable, you can let them know about your breakup. You can even ask that they don't bring it up in person. That way, you can avoid any awkward exchanges when you're face to face. For a lot of people, writing it out is a lot easier than saying it IRL.

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Don't Feel That You Always Have To Put On A Happy Front

You know what? It's okay to not be okay sometimes. Everyone has good days and bad days. If people ask you how are you doing, you don't automatically have to say that you're fine. You can say exactly how you're feeling even if you are sad, angry, or a combination of the two. You're not being a Scrooge. When people know you're down, they can try to help you out.

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Take It One Day At A Time

The holidays can be overwhelming when people aren't going through breakups. In stressful situations it's always best to just take it one day at a time. If you find that hard, take it one hour at a time. You can do this, girl. Just focus on getting through what you have immediately happening and don't fret about thoughts about the future.

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Stop Stressing About Bae's Gift

If you were on the ball and got bae's gift, you're probably sick thinking about it. Don't worry because the majority of stores have refund policies that extend into January. If it's too painful to think about returning, you could ask someone else to do it, or you could put it away until later. If you want to keep it, or you made something homemade, put it away so you don't have to look at it. Seeing it will probably upset you. If you're thinking about giving it to your ex, think carefully because it might send mixed signals. Sorry to say it, but even the best gift won't fix your relationship so don't make that the only reason to give it to him/her.

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Have you ever been dumped around a holiday? How did you deal? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.

 

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