7 Signs You’re Way Too Shallow When It Comes To Dudes

Before I get started, I want to make one thing clear: It’s good to have standards when it comes to guys. In fact, it’s not even so bad to have high standards when it comes to guys. Why should you settle for someone you’re not attracted to, or someone who doesn’t impress you, or someone who never makes you laugh? But I think that it’s also fair to say that some people have, shall we say, expectations of the ideal boyfriend that are pretty divorced from reality. Hell, I like talking smack about boys being The Worst as much as the next girl, and I’m sure most dudes don’t deserve you. But at the end of the day, boys are human too. They’re imperfect and they make mistakes, just like you and me.

That brings me to this point: There’s a difference between having standards and being a shallow a-hole, and you could be covering up your shallowness with the excuse of simply “having standards.” If you can’t tell the difference, here, let me help. Check out these seven signs you’re way too shallow when it comes to guys.


You Don't Think Your Crush/Boyfriend Is Cool Enough To Other People

I'm going to be blunt: If you like your crush/boyfriend, and you think they're fun to hang out with, and you think they're pretty cool too, who gives a f**k what other people think. Seriously, I'm telling you, do not let other people's measure of coolness dictate your relationship, and don't get so caught up in how others perceive you. It makes you look shallower than a damn puddle.

Freaks and Geeks

You Have A Very Specific Look You Go For And You Refuse To Look Outside Of It

Maybe you only go for dudes with dark hair, light eyes, and a super toned body. Maybe you only go blondes. Maybe you only go for white dudes (yikes). Maybe you have an Asian dude thing that borders on fetishistic (yikes, part two). Maybe you require a dude to be at least six inches taller than you. Maybe the dude has to have a nine inch long penis. I DON'T KNOW, BUT I DO KNOW THAT THERE'S A HUGE CHANCE THAT YOU'RE BEING WAY TOO PICKY. I'm usually super attracted to dudes with dark features--dark hair, dark brows, maybe even dark eyes--and I'm into dudes that are way taller than me, despite the fact that I'm tall for a girl already. By even those few parameters, I wouldn't be with my current BF, who has light hair, light eyes, and is barely taller than I am. But I'm so glad he's in my life and that I wasn't a pickier sort of person, because he rules. Please, keep a more open mind. I know that some of us have deal breakers, especially when it comes to height, but it's fair to examine whether or not your preferences harbor problematic biases and whether it's worth not even considering loads of awesome dudes due to your narrow mindedness.

Grease

You Expect To Be Treated Like A Princess

Neither a relationship's strength nor the the strength of your partner's love for you relies on whether you're treated like a damn princess all the time. Sure, we all love to be pampered, and who doesn't love to be spoiled every now and then. But if your qualifications for a good man consist of whether or not he'll wait on your every beck and call? Girl, get a clue. If you want mindless devotion, get a sugar daddy. If you want an actual relationship, realize that respect, kindness, and care will trump shallow acts of affection every time.

She's All That

You're Very Concerned With How You And Your Crush/BF Look To Others

If you're walking down the street, the hallway, whatever with your boyfriend and you're concerned about whether or not you two look like a hot, envious couple that low key deserve sexy Instagram couple fame...grow the hell up. Don't look to others to validate you or your relationship. Do you think your partner is attractive? Do you like your relationship? Cool, that's all that matters.

Pretty In Pink

You Care More About What Material Things You Can Get Out Of A Relationship Than Anything

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's cool to see those posts on Twitter or Instagram of those boyfriends who bought their girlfriends $300 worth of makeup from Sephora, but don't get into a relationship for that. Seriously. If you do, you really are a shallow piece of work. Again, if you want gift, get a sugar daddy, not a boyfriend. That's not to say that you shouldn't expect gifts; if a dude doesn't give you a gift for the holidays or birthdays, he's trash. But only going for dudes because of how they can benefit you financially and not emotionally will result in you taking a huge L in the long run.

Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend

You Compare, A Lot

You compare your crush to someone else's crush and wonder who is hotter. You compare your boyfriend to some other dude and wonder who has the better body. You compare your relationship to someone else's relationship and wonder which one looks cuter. Girl, you're OBSESSED with comparing dudes, relationships, whatever, based on shallow parameters that you shouldn't even be so caught up on. Comparison is a big driving force behind overall misery, so cut it out. It won't make you happy and it won't solve any pressing curiosities that are of any substance.

Clueless

You're Overly Picky About The Way You're Asked Out

If you're waiting for that perfect meet cute, then have fun waiting for a long ass time for the perfect someone to come along. Relationships start in all kinds of ways, from a DM in a dating app, to a messy hookup after an even messier party. You have to stay open to the possibility that a guy might want to take you out for coffee even if you think that a date at a nice restaurant would be more impressive. You have to stay open to the idea that you might find the one on a dating app full of creeps rather than IRL (which, by the way, is also full of creeps). Life isn't a movie that you can script just the way you want, and sometimes, that has to be okay.

Some Girls

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

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