7 Signs He Doesn’t Really Mean It When He Says I Love You

For many of us, one of the big relationship milestones is when your SO says, “I love you.” They might be three teeny-tiny words, but they are a big deal. Hearing/saying them is pretty much as exciting as sharing your first kiss or celebrating your first anniversary. Hearing the big L-word is a mixture of joy, passion, relief, and surprise. It’s a big moment, but afterwards it can sometimes lead to doubt.

I don’t want to put a downer on the love parade, but there are times when someone says I love you and they’re not 100 percent ready to say it. Or, they say it because they think it’s what you want to hear. I know it’s super painful to think about, especially as you thought bae just made his feelings super clear, but if you’ve been having doubts about your relationship, the timing or the way he said I love you could reveal his true feelings.

I know it’s hard, but try to think about the situation objectively and consider bae’s use of I love you to see it if he’s following any of these patterns. Here are seven signs he doesn’t really mean it when he says I love you.


The Words Seem To Lack Meaning

It's not just about the words, it's also about how you say them. You can put so much emotion into anything. When bae says, *I love you* can you practically feel his heart beating behind the words or does it sound like he's asking if you have a pencil he can borrow? Bae might not always have strong emotion in his words if he's saying I love you on the phone or when getting off the bus, but there still should be some warmth there.

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He Only Says Them After You Do

Bae may or might not have been the first to say I love you. The thing to keep an eye on now is if he says I love you on his own. If he only ever does it after you say the the words first, he might not be feeling it 100 percent. Now that you've said the words, he might feel that he has to say them back to keep you happy or because that's what *people are supposed to do.*

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He Says Things He Loves About You

Rather than simply saying *I love you,* does you SO try to change it slightly so he is discussing things he loves about you? Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that compliments are a bad thing. They're definitely great. But saying that someone loves your hair, eyes, smile, whatever, isn't quite the same thing as saying I love you. Trying to focus the love on a specific spot could indicate bae isn't ready for the whole deeper connection love thing.

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He Doesn't Say It In Front Of Others

Some people are more open and comfortable about expressing their feelings in front of others. I get that. Even someone who is head-over-heels with you might not want to say I love you in front of everyone else. They might prefer to keep it between the two of you. It's still worthwhile to think about the situations where bae says I love you. If it's only in his bedroom when no one else is home and all the windows are shut, consider his other actions and see whether they show love. Remember, someone can always whisper a soft *I love you* in any public place, if they really want to.

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He Tries To Shorten The Phrase

Does your SO actually say *I love you* or does he try and shorten it to text speak. Does he seem to say, *love ya,* *heart you,* *peace and love,* or something similar rather than *I love you?* Short forms can work in certain situations, but be aware if he never says *I love you.* Also, think about how he's saying his messages of love and whether they're personal or whether they sound like he could be saying them to his mom, sister, friend, dog, whoever.

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He Only Says It In Certain Questionable Situations

When people first start saying I love you, they normally wait for romantic moments. Once you get passed that, they might say it as part of a goodbye. You might be between the stages or beyond them. No matter where you're at, one thing you will want to keep an eye out for is if there is a pattern when bae says I love you. Is it normally after you fight or you talk about leaving him? That's not a good. If bae tends to say it only after you have sex, that's not the best, either.

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His Actions Don't Prove It

Does bae talk sweet nothings in your ear then go and ignore all your texts? Or does he talk about how you're an amazing girl and the love of his life, but he seems to frequently cancel plans? Remember that actions can sometimes speak louder than words. It's fairly easy to say *I love you,* but it takes more effort to actually show it.

Image source: Getty

Have you ever said “I love you” to your SO? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.

 

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