7 Signs Your Crush Isn’t Actually Worth Pursuing

Even if nothing comes of it, there’s obviously a lot of fun that comes along with having a crush. The crushes I had in school made class a little more exciting, and it was fun to come up with codenames with my friends. Seriously, my friends and I called this one dude in the grade above us–who we all had a crush on–Sven because he had flowing blonde hair and looked Scandinavian AF. I once had a crush on a man who made me feel so embarrassingly giddy that there are songs I would listen to and straight up swoon while thinking about him. I cannot listen to those songs to this day without thinking about this dude.

Crushes are powerful, and if they don’t end up making you feel miserable, they can be a small little joy that makes life a little more exciting. But what if you’re the bold type and you don’t want this crush of yours to remain a fantasy, something to giggle about with your friends? What if you want them to actually go out with your crush? I commend you for wanting to make a move, and I say go for it…under certain conditions. Before you start flirting away, check out these seven signs your crush actually isn’t worth pursuing. Sure, they might seem like the ideal person for you, but this post might just help you dodge a bullet.


They're Hot And Cold Toward You

You've tried to get into your crush's good graces, but just when you think you're making progress, they act weirdly distant and disinterested in your existence. One day you guys are having a vigorous (but fun) discussion about music or movies or something, then the next they're totally ignoring you and acting like you don't exist. Sis, don't bother with this person until they start treating you with some respect. The hot and cold treatment is a huge blow to one's self-esteem, and you deserve better.

My Mad Fat Diary

They're Already Taken

Rule number one of crushes: Don't make a move if they're in a relationship. I mean, you can try, but it probably won't work, and if it does, do you really want to date someone who cheated on their partner so easily? Yeah, probably not. If your crush is taken, crush from afar but don't make any moves. Save the moves for a crush that won't put you in some sort of moral quandry.

That '70s Show

They're An A-Hole To Other People, But Not You

This is a huge "don't bother" red flag, if you ask me. If you're crushing on someone who is a low key bully or is just plain nasty and condescending to people but is perfectly nice and cool to you, consider holding back on making a move. At least, hold back until they start being a little nicer to people. You don't really want to be seen as guilty by association if you two go out, do you?

Freaks and Geeks

They Seem Like They're Playing Hard To Get Whenever You Make A Move

So, I think that people overestimate the amount of people who bother to actually play hard to get. Sometimes what might seem like playing hard to get is just...trying to gently reject someone without being too mean. Culturally, girls are programmed to do this a lot more than guys are, but guys can do it too. If a guy you're coming on to doesn't seem too receptive but is nice about it, take that as a big hint to back off.

Clueless

They Have Crappy Views Of The World

Yeah, nope. What you really shouldn't do is even entertain the idea of pursuing someone who you know for a fact has really sus views about race, gender, immigration, etc. Just...if their political viewpoints make you cringe and you wouldn't accept it from anyone else, why would you accept it from them? And quit daydreaming about your influence changing their politics or something, because that probably won't work. Crush on someone whose viewpoints don't leave you feeling like you need to take a shower.

Dear White People

They Just Got Out Of A Tough Breakup

I know you don't want anyone else to scoop them up before you, but listen...give them some time and some space. Seriously, this crush of yours is super vulnerable right now. Let them figure stuff out. At the very least, give them a few weeks before making a move. Hopefully they'll be transparent with you about whether or not they're ready for something serious. You definitely don't want to be this person's rebound.

Legally Blonde

You're Mostly Crushing On Them Because They're Hot

Thinking someone is hot, or dreamy, or sexy, or amazingly adorable is fine, and it's enough of a reason to crush on someone. Enough of a reason to turn that crush into a romance? Eh, probably not. People are more than their looks, obviously, but unless you make an effort to get to know your crush better and find out what they're actually like as a person, don't go out of your way to pursue anything serious. A hookup? Hey, why not. Maybe you'll get to know them better that way too and assess if they're someone you'd actually want to date. But otherwise? Admiring someone's looks aren't a great basis for a relationship.

Some Girls

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

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