The 10 Most Important Things Every Sex Newbie Needs To Know Before Their First Time

If you’ve never had sex before, chances are good that you find it one of the more intimidating things you’ll do (probably, at some point) in this world. When you’re a virgin, sex seems terrifying, which isn’t surprising: it’s something new, and it’s really unlike anything else. On top of it being an entirely unique experience, it also makes you feel vulnerable and makes it way too easy to embarrass yourself in front of someone you really like. That’s why sex newbies will soak up any bit of sex advice they can find – we’ve all been there.

In a recent Ask Reddit thread, a girl asked about some of the things sex noobs should absolutely know before they do it for the first time. A lot of the answers were obviously and common responses, like warning girls to pee right afterwards (to avoid an infection), encouraging condom use (which is the most important!!), and pushing the idea of communication. All of these things are extremely important, but there’s other stuff you need to know before your first time that isn’t discussed quite as much. This knowledge will make losing your virginity a whole lot more fun and successful. It’s good stuff to know even if you’ve already done it before, too! Check out these sex tips for sex newbies and thank us later.


Get Clean First

Here's some obvious advice that, uh, not everyone follows. User Wavesignal says, "Wash first." It's simple, but so important: clean yourself up before getting naked with someone. This doesn't mean you have to shave off everything or use some kind of special soap, it just means you need to get clean. Use warm water to clean up your private areas, use a nice body wash so you smell great, and shave if you want. Sure, sometimes things happen in the moment and you can't do anything, but if you have time to prepare, you'll feel better if you clean up.

Source: iStock

Use Fingers To Help Get A Penis Inside Of You

For anyone with a vagina, losing your virginity can be scary because you're worried about the idea of getting a penis down there. To make things a little easier, follow this advice from user 4_sandalwood: "When inserting something into someone it can help to put your fingers in the someone first and guide the something along your fingers- that way you don't miss the mark and end up breaking anyone's anything."

Source: iStock

Sex Feels Better After You Have An Orgasm

Okay ladies, listen up: most of you won't be able to have an orgasm from penetration alone. So, if you're having sex with a penis, do enough foreplay so that you orgasm before you get to home base. User ImAPopsicleAMA says, "Sex feels better after orgasm for some women. (Oral sex or fingering/rubbing or mutual masturbation first will really ripen you up for penetration, especially if you're nervous or if it's your first time. Regardless of whether or not you climax)." Since most women can have multiple orgasms, you're more likely to have another one during penetration if you've already had one. It also just makes everything feel better and go smoother!

Source: iStock

You Might Queef

Sex is weird and awkward and can be very embarrassing, because your body does weird stuff. User Kords says, "Queefing is normal. Don't be grossed out by it." Why do you need to know this? Because you might queef! It's fine, and it's not a big deal. It sounds like a fart, but it isn't - just remember that!

Source: iStock

Masturbate First

A lot of girls get nervous about sex for the first time because they feel like they're going into it with no clue of what they're doing. That's exactly why you should masturbate before you start having sex. User AstarteHilzarie says, "Masturbate. Learn about yourself first. Find out what you like, where you like it, and how you like it. Actual sex will be different, but you'll understand the feelings and your pressure points. Being able to guide him 'a little to the left,' 'slower,' 'harder' (not constantly, just once in a while) will increase your enjoyment, which will make you better (there's a big difference between when a woman is really enjoying herself and when she's just going through the motion) and it will likely be a turn on for him for you to be into it and giving direction."

Source: iStock

Don't Just Stick To Penetration

Here's something you don't hear often: P in V sex isn't for everyone, even if you're in a heterosexual relationship! You don't have to stick to it - be open to just doing whatever feels good. User 4_sandalwood says, "You can stop penetration and go back to other things. So often we see sex as a one lane one-way street. But if you get tired, or you get a leg cramp, or you just aren't feeling it stop and go back to something else. Sex is a lot more fun if the goal stops being for all involved parties to have an orgasm and instead becomes about giving and getting all of the flavors of pleasure."

Source: iStock

Talk About What You Want

I know you probably hear this a lot and I'm sure you're sick of it, but listen: communication is so, so important. User awasteofgoodatoms says, "Ask your partner what they enjoy and listen. My partner guided me through what she liked on my first time which made it far more enjoyable for both of us." You might feel awkward speaking up, but you shouldn't. In the moment, it will come across as sexy, and it will be easier to do it. Just say, "Does that feel good?" or "Do you want me to keep doing that?" in a low voice. That's it! Talking this stuff out will result in a better experience for everyone.

Source: iStock

Put A Pillow Under Your Butt

Missionary is the most basic sex position, but that doesn't mean it's bad - it's just popular. For your first time, this is probably what you'll be doing. Remember this advice from user FLYBOY611, who says, "Put a pillow under her butt if you're doing missionary. It makes for a better angle for both of you." It's a life changing top.

Source: iStock

Don't Get Weirded Out

Okay, I mean, you can totally get weirded out if something shady is happening or you're uncomfortable, but if your significant other is trying something new and you don't like it, try not to make a huge deal about it unless they're not listening. User randyspotboiler says, "Don't make too big a deal of things if the other person or people want to try something, but know what isn't working for you (speak up about what you like and especially what you don't, but don't be a jerk or whiney about it.)" It can be hard to try something new in bed, so don't knock it without considering their feelings.

Source: iStock

Cuddle With Him

It's so easy to assume guys just want to hit it and quit it, but that's not always true! User Datanami says, "Men also like to be touched, caressed, kissed etc." They do! Cuddle afterwards, be cute before and during. They get into it!

Source: iStock

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