8 Surprising Things That Make You Worse In Bed

I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to assume that, if you are a sexually active person, you have spent at least some time worrying about how good you are (or aren’t at sex.  You could be wondering if you’re doing too much in bed, too little, or something that could be just the right amount for one person, but a total turnoff for another person. In fact, these fears are probably plaguing in some way you even if you aren’t technically sexually active, simply because sex–and how good a person is at, you know, doing it–is such a big deal in our society, and we’re taught to believe that if we aren’t, like, killing it in bed every single time sex happens, you just aren’t doing it right.

Now, before we get into this, let’s get one thing straight–you’re probably much better at sex than you think you are. The truth is that, as long as you’re there, you’re into it, and you’re having fun, your partner should be having fun as well. But it is also true that you might not be quite at your peak of sexual performance, since some random things you do every day could be sabotaging your sex skills. Which, if you think about it, is pretty rude! So, check out these surprising things that could actually be making you much worse in bed:

Working Out Too Much

Working out is something that, in theory, should make you better in bed. And, at a very basic level, this is true--being relatively physically fit will increase your stamina and overall performance. But, according to a recent study done at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, people who did particularly long, intense workout sessions had less of a desire for sex. Now, this study was done on people who identity as male, so if you identify as female, there is no conclusive evidence that over-exercising can kill your sex drive and performance. But, if you're working out so hard that you simply cannot expend any energy on anything else, it's probably not going to have a great effect on your sex life. Or, you know, your life in general.

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Or, to be more exact, sleep apnea. This is a common sleep disorder that occurs when a person's breathing is interrupted during sleep, causing snoring, shallow breathing, and/or loud, intermittent coughing and snorting noises. Altough this is all, obviously, very sexy, this can lower testosterone levels in both women and men, which depletes the desire to have sex. So, if you've been snoring, or feel like you haven't been sleeping as soundly as you should, you might want to visit a doctor and get it checked out.

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Starting Birth Control

Did you just start taking a birth control pill? If so, you might notice a shift in your sexual performance--birth control can also lower testosterone levels in women, which can lead to lower sex drive and performance. Birth control has also been linked to a lack of vaginal lubrication. This, obviously, makes sex less fun--no one is having fun when their vagina is chafing--and can lower your desire to have sex overall.

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Stopping Birth Control

Also, if you've recently stopped taking a birth control pill altogether, you might find that your interest in sex has changed, too. This is because the Pill actually has a slight influence on who you're attracted to, meaning that you could be less attracted to a certain partner on the pill than you were off of it. Obviously, the Pill isn't, like, a love potion, so you're not going to think that your partner is a hideous, unlovable troll the second you stop taking it. Still, it could have a slight impact on how attracted you feel, on a base, physical level, to your partner, so just pay attention to your thoughts and feelings as soon as you stop taking it.

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Watching Too Much Porn

If you start watching porn before you start having sex (as most people do) you might start to think that it's normal to do a lot of things--like literally bouncing up and down on a penis or making loud, guttural moans--that, um, don't really translate super well into real life sex. I'm not going to tell you to stop watching porn altogether. Masturbating healthy and normal, so if porn is part of your masturbating routine, you don't have to totally change it. But, if you do watch porn, try to do it with the mindset that what's happening on the screen is a performance that has very little to do with what actual sex is really like.

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Drink your water. If you don't, it can cause headaches, a lack of energy, vaginal dryness, and an overall lowered desire to do anything remotely sexual. So, again--drink up! It's worth it.

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Stress is one of the most notorious libido and performance killers out there. But, obviously, being told that you're too stressed probably isn't going to do much to reduce your stress levels. But if you can, try to identify your main stressor and try to figure out a way to deal with it. Just doing this, and knowing that you have some sort of plan, will probably help minimize your stress.

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Eating Lots Of Processed Food

By now, you know that testosterone is a major factor in your sex drive and performance. But what you might not know is that eating lots of processed, artificial foods has been shown to reduce testosterone, which, in turn, might impact your libido. Obviously, not all of us can eat only raw, organic, gluten and dairy-free food, and you definitely don't have to. But if you find that your diet mainly consists of processed foods and artificial sugar, and your sex life isn't exactly where you'd like it to be, you might want to add in a vegetable here and there. You might be surprised how you feel!

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You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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