7 Ways To Tell If The Person You’re Dating Is Actually The One

When you first start dating someone, it’s generally pretty easy to tell what makes you not want to date them anymore. You know, like, red flags. It could be that they chew with their mouth open. Maybe they said that they didn’t really “get” Rihanna. Or maybe, at one point, they posted an “unboxin” video to YouTube. You get the idea.

But, every now and then, you might notice something early on that makes you realize that, not only do you not want to stop dating someone, you want to go on several more dates with them. Possibly forever. But how is one to tell when a sign like this will arise? This, basically, is the idea behind a question raised by someone on Reddit recently:

We talk about red flags a lot, but what about greens? What little things tip you off about a person that gives you the feeling that they’re a good person, and it’s not an act?

Great question! And one, I think, that many people find themselves pondering from time to time. So, check out these ways that people have been able to tell that the person they were dating was actually the one:


Knowing They Listen

You know what's important? Dating someone who listens to you--and, for what it's worth, takes a genuine interest in what you're saying. Someone with a now-deleted username said, "When I first started dating my husband I was surprised at how often he'd reference something I'd told him days or weeks earlier. The motherf**ker was actually listening when I spoke. It blew my mind."

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They Gave Small, Thoughtful Gifts

Should you expect constant, lavish gifts from your partner? No, but it's definitely nice to get small, unexpected, thoughtful gifts. msstarksaid, "My SO recently bought me a book that I couldn't even remember I wanted. He saw me check the price at the bookstore and put it back, then went back in a few days later and bought it for me."

Image source: Getty

They Were Tender With Animals

No one can resist anyone holding an animal, right? Of course right! KvetchBetch said that their big green flag with their partner came when she saw him hanging out with his cat. She said, "When we were first dating, I came into the room one day and discovered my now-husband cradling my cat and cooing to him over what a big, handsome boy he is. He (boyfriend/husband) was embarrassed but shook it off. Now that I think about it the cat was probably a little embarrassed as well."

Image source: Getty

No Texting Games

It's always a nice feeling when someone you like texts you, right? Now, imagine that feeling without the stress and mental calculations that tend to go along with texting a crush. Someone who has since deleted their username said that their big green flag with their partner was the fact that they were "NOT playing the texting game. When my current boyfriend and I were still just 'talking' and right up to our first dates, I couldn't believe he'd actually respond immediately and carry on actual conversations. I'd never been involved with someone new I felt like I could just contact whenever for no reason without it being too forward."

Image source: Getty

No Games, Period

In fact, it's probably a good idea to look out for someone who doesn't play any games, period. MissMaryMackMackMackMack said, "When I started dating my now-husband, I had a really hard time dealing with the fact that there legitimately were no games. There's no f**ked up power struggle, no sh**ty comments when he doesn't get what he wants, no score keeping. I didn't know people who functioned on such a genuine level were a real-life thing. I spent about the first four-six months of our relationship very suspicious, and I kept looking for something to be wrong."

Image source: Getty

They Were Genuinely Kind To Waiters

Obviously, being nice to the people serving you shouldn't be, like, a revolutionary act. But a big red flag for a lot of people is being rude to people serving them. Conversely, it can be a big green flag if someone is genuinely nice to a waiter or server. Makovue said, "My boyfriend is super friendly to servers when we go out and I noticed it right away. Our first date I honestly wasn't really interested because from the first impression he seems like one of those self centered arrogant people. I'm glad I went with him to dinner that night or we wouldn't be here now. He always talks so politely to servers and always uses their name. I have a second job serving and love it when customers treat me the way he does."

Image source: Getty

They Took Care Of Them When They Were Sick

A good way to tell if a partner is the real deal? See how they react if they find out you're not feeling well. MediocreResponse said, "He took care of me while I was sick. I had to cancel our second date because of emergency surgery (wisdom teeth came in overnight with a vengeance). He insisted on bringing me soup, and he let me fall asleep on him while we watched a movie. That night I thought to myself, 'I could marry this man,' and three years later, I did!"

Image source: Getty

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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