10 Little Things That Slowly Destroy Even The Best Relationships

We all know about the big things that can destroy any relationship, even ones that seem picture perfect: cheating, betrayal, huge life changes, stuff like that. We look out for signs of these things, we do our best to avoid them, to make sure they don’t happen to us. Unfortunately, sometimes it’s not just the big things that you have to keep an eye out for. More often than not, it’s the little stuff. Yes, the mundane, small things that you don’t give a second thought – those are the things that, after time, could build up enough to slowly destroy a relationship.

It’s easy to ignore some of these little things, or to blow them off with excuses like, “relationships are hard work! It’s not always going to be easy!” and “I can’t be too picky, so I’ll let this go.” Both of those statements have a certain amount of truth to them, but if they come up a lot? That’s definitely bad news. A recent Ask Reddit thread asked users about the little things that slowly cause breakups, and a lot of the answers were interesting and kind of unexpected. Sometimes things just aren’t meant to work out, but other times, a bad breakup could be avoided by paying attention to the smaller details. Here are a few little things that could be slowly ruining your relationship: 

Anxiety and Mental Illness Struggles

Mental illnesses are terrible for so many different reasons, and one of those reasons is that they can ruin your relationships with others. User itsdrizzyoutside says, "If your partner has anxiety - especially untreated. Eventually it becomes exhausting and you can't deal with in anymore. Because it will never end. There's always a problem. There's always an "emergency". When one issue is resolved its never over since a new one magically pops up. I know anxiety is difficult, but you can't play the victim and make people in your life cater to you constantly. Its not healthy"

As selfish as it might sound to others, it's true: dealing with a partner with a mental illness, like anxiety or depression, can be extremely difficult. You want to be there for the person, but it's hard, and starts to take a toll on you. I know this from personal experience - my ex had depression, and I tried really hard for years, but eventually had to end things. It wasn't TOTALLY because of his illness, but that absolutely contributed. If your partner has a mental illness, make sure you take care of yourself too.

Source: iStock

Looking Through Each Other's Stuff

User TheWebOfSlime says, "Snooping." And they're absolutely right! Snooping is Bad. First of all, it's a sign of jealousy, which is never great. Second, it's a sign that you don't trust your partner or they don't trust you, which is a very big issue.

Snooping leads to arguing and paranoia. It makes your partner angry, and makes you feel anxious. It contributes to a relationship that has no trust or honest communication. I know it might seem harmless sometimes, but it isn't! Please avoid it.

Source: iStock

Different Opinions On Sex

Sex is certainly not the most important thing in a romantic relationship, but it is still important - and having different feelings on it could be a big deal. User snittermansconfusion says, "Mismatched libidos. The HL partner is always wondering why they're not good enough, what they're doing wrong, and the LL partner is always wondering why it's all about sex and why the love they do give isn't enough. When one person wants sex every day and the other only wants it once every month or two, there's really nothing you can do to make up for that."

You and your partner don't have to be on the same level every single day, and you definitely don't have to say yes to them if you're not in the mood. But the point is this: if you have a very low sexual libido and they have a very high libido, it's going to make things difficult.

Source: iStock

Feeling Too Comfortable Around Each Other

One of the biggest goals of a relationship is to feel totally comfortable around each other. Unfortunately, that can sometimes be the downfall of a couple. User LiegeWaffles says, "Complacency. I think that a lot of times people forget that work needs to be put in to keep things interesting and fun once the honeymoon phase is done. You get comfortable, which is great, but then you stop trying, stop talking to each other and learning new things about each other, stop the nice dates, etc. then suddenly you find yourself restless and bored and that eventually devolves into just feeling sick of being around your SO, and you wonder how you got there."

There's a difference between feeling comfortable and never trying. Just because you feel comfortable doesn't mean you can't still go on dates, try new things together, or dress up for each other once in a while. You do still need to make an effort!

Source: iStock

Someone Having A Really Bad Temper

Dating someone with a very bad temper - bad, but not bad enough to be abusive - is a big problem. User ThisIsKaren says, "For mine it was a bad temper. My ex had (or still has) a bad and terrible temper. At first I was like I can probably help her through it. But eventually even with medication it didn't help. She started taking Lexapro to control her temper and I saw it helped a bit initially, but I saw moments where she would get really mad and angry that I became turned off. Because she wasn't able to communicate with me calmly and maturely it definitely chipped away at our relationship. Now I just want nothing to do with her."

Source: iStock

Spending Too Much Time Together

Spending a lot of time with your bae is amazing. But do it too much, and watch your relationship crumble. User pinpeach says, "Not taking enough time for yourself." It's true! When I was in high school, I dated someone and spent every single day with them, talked to them whenever we weren't together, and had all the same friends as them. At first, it was great. But after a few years, it felt suffocating, and contributed to our breakup.

You need time for yourself. Make dates with friends, have your own time at home, don't see each other every day. If you live together, have your own lives outside of the house too. Being together 24/7 is not always good!

Source: iStock

You Never Argue

Arguing too much can ruin a relationship, but so can never arguing at all. User awickfield says, "Bad communication. If you and your partner can't communicate for some reason, issues never get fully resolved and things end up building up until the inevitable end of the relationship." I used to have a friend who was in a relationship with someone she never fought with. She was proud of it, but I thought it was weird and bad - and I was right. They ended up breaking up and he said it was because he felt like they didn't really know each other.

Arguing sucks, but it's part of a relationship. Learning how to resolve your conflicts is so important. If you can't communicate that kind of stuff and you just ignore it, nothing positive is coming out of that.

Source: iStock

Drug Addiction

User searedscallops says, "Drug addiction." That simple answer is enough, really, if you know anyone addicted to drugs or alcohol, but I'll explain further. Breaking up with someone who struggles with addiction can sound mean, but honestly, dating someone with addiction can be incredibly difficult. Addiction takes over. It can ruin even the best relationships between people who are very in love. It's a disease, and it can be something you can't get past.

Source: iStock

One Being More Mature Than The Other

Dating someone who's younger and acts super immature? That could be really bad. User _JeanGenie_ says, "Different levels of maturity. Sometimes you grow closer together, sometimes.. Not so much." It's true - if they refuse to grow up and you're continuing to advance in life and get more mature, it's not going to work out. You'll be on two different levels, which can cause a lot of tension.

Source: iStock

Being On Your Phones All The Time

User lovethepuppers says "Electronics. Being on phones, computers, watching TV, etc, and then not stopping when your partner bids for your attention. So many couples now are glued to electronics in bed, on the couch, and really just all the time. How would you feel if you left all by the door when you got home and never turned on the TV/computer? If that thought makes you feel uncomfortable, and like you wouldn't know what to do/say, it is probably time to turn them off for a while."

I know, I know - the last thing you want to hear is a lecture about being on your phone too much. Me too! But seriously, put your phone away when you're with your significant other. Focus on them. Not doing that or even making the effort will ruin things eventually.

Source: iStock

You can follow the author, Jessica Booth, on Twitter or Instagram.


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