7 Easy Ways To Flirt Even If You’re Shy

If you are a shy person, you will know that doing certain things–things that should be easy, and your friends seem to have little to no difficulty doing–suddenly becomes very difficult. Things like, I don’t know, talking to other humans. Doing an oral presentation in class. Existing in a world that seems to have been made specifically for extroverted, sociable people, but not for you. The hardest thing of all? Liking someone. Or, to be more exact, letting someone know that you like them. AKA flirting with them.

Now, if you are breaking out into hives at the mere sight of the words “you” and “flirting” next to each other, don’t worry. If you want to let someone know that you like them–other than, you know, staring at them from a distance and hoping that they eventually pick up the info from your passionate glance–it can be done! You just have to know how. So, check out some of these super easy ways to flirt, even if you’re really shy:

Just Be Straight Up About It

For some people, the intimidating part about flirting is the game. You know, the part where you have to be super coy and super forward at the same time and hope that whatever combination of those two qualities works for the person you're flirting with. It's hard! So, to deal, you can take the total opposite approach and just kind of jump right in. In a Reddit thread on flirting while being a shy girl that I found recently, one girl said that she walks up to people and just tells them that she's hitting on them. This way, you eliminate the stress of wondering if you're being too subtle, and you won't have to try and analyze from their response and body language--the question is so forward that they'll have to give you a straight answer.

Image source: Bob's Burgers

Use Your Friends

Now, this is a technique that should only be used sparingly.  If your friend doesn't have your best interests at heart, they go full Regina George on you, and if they don't do things the right way, they could make things more awkward between you and your crush. But, if you happen to have a really, really good friend who doesn't mind being a wing-person, you might want to take them up on it. They might be able to let your crush know that you like them in a non-awkward way, which will make approaching them (which you will need to do eventually) much easier.

Image source: Clueless

Use Your Body Language

Really don't feel up to using your words? Try telling them with your body language--you can try making prolonged eye contact, a smile, and, possibly, a few eyelash flutters. This one is easy to make weird if it's done in the wrong context--like, say, the middle of class--so make sure that you're in an appropriate venue for flirting. If you are, and you're lucky, they might just come over and talk to you. Or, if you see them respond--maybe they'll hold eye contact with you, smile, or wave--you can take that as a cue to go over and talk to them.

Image source: Skins

Talk To Them Online

You know--just slide into their DMs every now and then, or send them a quick meme, if only to remind them that you're still alive. When you do this, it's important to remember that you will have to take it IRL at some point--you don't want to be someone who only ever appears in their Instagram DMs. But this can be a good way to plant a seed that you might like someone as more than a friend in their head, which can make the initial steps of flirting much easier.

Image source: Gossip Girl

Bond Over A Common Interest

Do you know that you both love a similar type of music? Or the same movie? Or have you both just finished Big Mouth on Netflix? Talk to them about it! This is a super organic way to start a conversation--because you know you'll both have a lot to say about it--and chances are good that you'll feel more comfortable talking with them about something you love than you would otherwise. Plus, this can serve as a springboard for other conversations later on--or, potentially, an opportunity to hang out.

Image source: Big Mouth

Ask Your Crush About Themselves

Here's a tip--people love to talk about themselves. They love it. So, if you're feeling nervous while talking to your crush, you can rely on asking them questions about their life.  Obviously, don't make it weird and make the person you're flirting with feel like they're being interrogated by hitting them with a bunch of rapid-fire interview-style questions. And, of course, don't feel bad if you end up talking about yourself, too! You are interesting and have a lot to offer. But if you ask them questions about themselves, listen, and take a genuine interest in what they're saying, they'll walk away from the conversation feeling good about themselves--and, subsequently, about you.

Image source: Blue Is The Warmest Color

Say Their Name A Lot

This one is pretty simple, but people also tend to respond positively to hearing people say their name. So, when you're talking to your crush, make an effort to pepper their name into the conversation. Again, don't do this too much (if you do, you'll come off as a robot who's trying to learn human characteristics), but if you insert their name into the conversation a few times, they'll probably be into it. If you do this while maintaining an appropriate amount of eye contact, you'll be all set. The O.C.


You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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