Any girl who is attracted to guys has spent time wondering (or even Googling) how to attract a guy they’re crushing on. I mean, that’s natural, right? But on your quest to woo some dude, you’re going to run into a ton of bad advice. The problem is that a lot of it won’t seem like bad advice. You’ll either hear your mom, your experienced friend, or self-proclaimed relationship expert with a YouTube channel advising you on ways to get a guy to like you, but they’ll use outdated, old school tips that belong in some awful teen magazine from the ’80s or something, not the 21st century. It’s a new day, a new age, and you shouldn’t use tired–and low key sexist–methods to get a guy to notice how dope you are.
So, what’s a girl to do. Uh, listen to us instead, that’s what. If you want to attract a guy while being yourself, having some level of effing agency, and maintaining some self-respect, check out these eight outdated tips on attracting guys that you need to ignore. You deserve better, seriously.
You Need Long, Touchable HairI saw a video (with thousands of views and positive comments) in which a woman was doling out advice on how to attract guys, and it infuriated the hell out of me. The worst part was when she said that boys like long, touchable hair that they can run their fingers through, and said that you should never cut your hair above your shoulders. Are you KIDDING ME? First of all, there are plenty of dudes--and I mean plenty--who don't give a damn how long your hair is. You can rock a bob or a buzzcut and still get dudes thirsting over you, period. Plus, as someone who is black and has hair that naturally coils very tightly, leaving me to have hair that defies gravity unless I straighten it, I pretty much felt like she was telling us that we need a damn weave to be hot to men. Totally untrue and totally unfair. Girl, listen to me: Wear your hair the way you want. I'm not saying a guy won't prefer your hair one way or another; we all have preferences, after all. But don't wear your hair in a specific style purely in the hopes of attracting a dude. Rock a style you're comfortable with, flirt with some dudes, and see what happens. Long hair that looks like it came out of a damn Pantene commercial really isn't everything. Clueless
Play Hard To GetUgh, no. Quite frankly, who has the damn time for this anymore? I'm serious, do you have the patience to deal with someone who is hot and cold with you? No, probably not. So why should someone be into it when it's coming from you? Besides, in the world of dating apps and seemingly endless amounts of people waiting to slide into your DMs, if you play games for too long, your crush is just going to go for the person who seems genuinely interested and invested in them. So please, avoid the games and just be real. Submarine
Go For A No-Makeup Makeup Look OnlyOkay, listen up: It's true that guys generally prefer a natural look. But, as we all know, a lot of guys don't know anything about makeup, and those natural looks they love so much are actually just natural makeup looks with plenty of foundation, concealer, mascara, etc. So with all that said, please, wear makeup the way you want. Don't feel compelled to wear Boy Approved makeup...because they don't know anything anyway. If you like wearing a bold lip and liner, wear a damn bold lip and liner. This idea that you can only attract dudes with a fresh faced look is absurd. Who Are You Polly Maggoo
Let Him Come To YouThe fact that people still listen to this old fashioned advice hurts my soul. Like I said earlier, it's the 21st century, and conforming to silly gendered rules of courtship are out. This isn't a Jane Austen novel, this is your life, and if you want to talk to a guy you like--hell, if you want to invite him to coffee, or a concert, or to your house to makeout--you should jump on that opportunity. If your crush doesn't like the fact that you're making the first move, then they're a weirdo who doesn't even deserve you or your go getter spirit. Also, I made the first move with my boyfriend and we're still together years later. Somehow, his masculinity wasn't so fragile that it shattered when I DM'd him first. Shocking (not). Some Girls
Act Girly And Like One Of The Guys At The Same TimeBasically, be a "cool girl." The one who can burp with the dudes over pizza and football and be able to paint your nails with your toes and rock a flawless messy bun. Like, give me a damn break. Please, don't try too hard to be this multifaceted girl for male consumption. If you don't know a thing about football, that's okay. If you don't know how to contour your face, that's fine too. Stick to being yourself and actually end up with a guy who likes you for you, not this BS fantasy girl. Freaks and Geeks
Don't Dress Too Trendy Or UniquePlease just go on and ignore every single article about "WHAT GUYS HATE TO SEE ON GIRLS." Like, sis, if you like your high waist shorts and crop tops, wear your high waist shorts and crop tops. Dudes can roast the look all they want, but they're still hitting on girls who wear it, so...who cares? If you have a unique sense of style, don't try to hide it to seem more approachable to some dude. There are dudes out there who can appreciate more than just jeans and a t-shirt. Be true to yourself and your personal style. Skins
Talk About Them, Not About YouThis is particularly old fashioned, so I hope you hard this awful advice from your mom or an aunt as opposed to a peer. Spending all your time stroking some dude's ego is not the move. You aren't just there to smile and nod and ask questions. Tell them about yourself too. Tell them about your interests, your favorite bands, what meme made you laugh recently, your opinion of Trump, etc. Yes, get to know your crush, but don't sell yourself short: You're interesting too! Dazed and Confused
Smile, A LotA lot of people who like to dole out flirting tips tell you to basically look like a smiling maniac whenever you're around dudes so you'll seem super magnetic. Girl, please conserve your energy. You don't have to be attractive to everyone in the room, and it's okay if not everyone in a room is attracted to you. It's not like you did anything wrong--or didn't smile hard enough or look approachable enough--if you don't have dudes crawling all over you. Save that megawatt smile for someone you're actually attracted to. Otherwise, don't worry about your Resting Bitch Face. Life is too damn short, sis. Pretty In Pink