7 Things To Do If You Realize Your BF Is Cheating On You

People aren’t perfect. This is something that is true in pretty much all cases, but it’s especially true when it comes to dating and relationships–you can spend years dating someone you thought was your soulmate, only to find that he’s been sleeping with your sister or texting your best friend for the past two months. While it’s sad, cheating happens far more often in relationships than we’d all like to admit.

But the thing no one talks about when it comes to being cheated on is what you’re supposed to do after it happens. Some people do nothing and spend their days living in the lie of a “happy” relationship, whereas others have complete meltdowns that leave them off worse than they started. Regardless of what end of the spectrum you’re leaning towards, there’s a few things every girl should do when they discovered they’ve been cheated on – but, hopefully none of these will ever apply to you.

 


Evaluate If You Want To Stay Or Leave

Only you can decide what's forgivable and unforgivable in your relationship, so if you think you can get past his cheating and continue being with him, fine. But ask yourself: do you want to stay out of love, or because you've gotten comfortable in the relationship? Will he ever cheat again? If you can't answer either of those questions without lying to yourself, it may be best for you to bail. And there's no shame in bailing – HE'S the one who cheated, not you. HE'S the one who killed your relationship. Not you.

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Don't Feel Like You Have To Confront Them

Some people thrive on confrontation; others would rather remain as low-key as possible. If you want to break up with the cheater but don't think you could make it through the “breakup talk” without being suckered into getting back together, go ahead and ghost him. He deserves it. Maybe send one text explaining why you're dumping him just so he knows you know he cheated if you're feeling saucy. No one will blame you for breaking it off like this – like we said before, he's the one who killed your relationship, not you. Conversely, if you want to have a giant screaming blowout with them, go ahead. To each their own!

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Tell Close Friends And Family What Happened Before He Does

You never know how someone will act when they've been caught cheating, so make sure you’re the first person to explain why the two of you broke up. There’s always the possibility he'll lie and twist the truth to his friends in order to make you look like the bad guy just so he can save face, so as long as you’re the first person to explain what happened people will be more inclined to believe your version of events. No one wants a dramatic breakup where friends’ loyalties are called into question and people have to pick sides – as long as your friends are truly your friends, they’ll stick up for you if anyone tries saying something other than the truth happened.

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If You Live With Him, Decide Where You're Going To Go

If the apartment/house you live in with him is rented, figure out whose name is on the lease – if you're both on it, sadly you're both stuck paying rent even if one of you moves out. Occasionally, however, if you have a good relationship with your landlord and you explain the situation there's always the possibility they’ll let you break your housing contract. If your name isn't on the lease, then hallelujah! Move all your stuff out when he isn’t home and leave a note. Or don't leave a note – it’s up to you. Either way, make sure you get all your stuff out of there so there’s no chance of any of it getting broken or stolen.

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Get Tested

You don't know who he slept with, and even if you do know then you don't know the state of their sexual health. The person they slept with could be completely clean or have six different STDs, who knows? It’s your responsibility to get tested for STDs after you find out your partner has been cheating on you. Now, if you can guilt him into paying for it since the only reason you’re getting tested is because of him, by all means go full steam ahead.

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Go No Contact

When my friends are going through breakups, I always recommend that they go no-contact with their ex, at least for a few months. What do you think is healthier: Facebook stalking your ex multiple times throughout the day, texting him randomly on impulse, and going back and forth back and forth in a together-not together cycle – or cutting all contact with him completely and getting through this breakup like a boss? Delete him from Facebook, delete his number and block him on Instagram. Make sure there's no way for him to contact you except for maybe carrier pigeon, and then focus all your time on making sure you're working towards being in a better place.

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Know That You Can Do Better

No matter how much of a McDreamsicle you thought this guy was, he clearly wasn't – otherwise he wouldn't have cheated on you, right? Right. There are trillions of fish in the sea, and trillions of those fish are also McDreamsicles who will remain faithful to you and not throw your relationship away down the drain over something so easily avoidable and selfish. You can, and will, do better. I promise.

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