12 Things You Do In Your Relationship That Make You Seem Insecure

Everyone knows that the number one sign of insecurity in a relationship (or just in general) is jealousy. When you see a jealous girlfriend who monitors her boyfriend’s every move and brags about snooping through his phone, you know she has some self-esteem issues going on. When you recoil at a jealous boyfriend who threatens to fight any guy who even looks at his girlfriend, you question his confidence (and maybe his sanity). And then you do anything to not be that jealous, because no one likes to look like the insecure partner.

But what you may not realize is that there’s a lot more you can do than act blatantly jealous to make it obvious that you have zero confidence in yourself. Being insecure in a relationship is not just about feeling envious of the other people who once caught your partner’s eye. Certain behaviors can make it apparent to anyone – like friends and family members – and of course, to your partner. While we all have insecure tendencies (that’s part of being human), being too insecure is never good for your dating life. Want to find out if you need to work on your self-esteem? Here are some things you do in a relationship that make you seem insecure, taken from an Ask Reddit thread on the same topic:

You can follow the author, Jessica Booth, on Twitter or Instagram.


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  • Libraryesque

    Just wanted to say it’s perfectly appropriate to ask someone about their sexual history when you’re just starting your relationship! It’s actually important to be careful about STDs, so if your partner is someone who has taken risks in the past or who has a more open attitude to relationships, you should always know about where your boundaries and limits are when it comes to taking care of yourself. After a while in an exclusive relationship this stops being a problem, but don’t let this need to “not be insecure” mean you end up taking unhealthy risks yourself.