What’s considered sexy is subjective, but there are some things that are practically universally sexy. Think Zac Efron, a killer set of abs, Zayn Malik, swimsuits, and Ryan Gosling. Then there are other things that have gotten a reputation as being sexy that are actually not.
I could go into random celebrities or questionable trends, but instead I’m going to focus on ~*sexy times*~. While the majority of us can agree on a lot of the universally sexy things, there are some that have earned reputations for being hot when they really don’t deserve it.
Remember, what you find sexy is still totally up to you. You might have a few different things that really turn you on. Maybe it’s a pair of black boxers. Or, maybe it’s a red lace bra, a bed with 45 pillows, or someone eating a piece of chocolate cake. Whatever floats your boat. And you shouldn’t feel ashamed of it. I just want you to be aware that there are some things out there that have been over-hyped. If you’re intrigued, you can still try them out and discover for yourself whether you like them or not.
Without further ado, have a look at nine things that are supposed to be sexy, but are actually really overrated.
Bedroom High HeelsA lot of people don't like wearing high heels when they're going out so why would they be any better in bed? You might think that it's because you're lying down, but have you ever tried to lie in a bed with six-inch heels on? Spoiler alert: It's awkward and there is no comfortable position for your feet. What's more, the chances of twisting an ankle, ripping a sheet, or stabbing bae are very, very high. Image source: Getty
Anything Involving FeetUnless you're a person with a foot fetish, you probably like feet best when they're secured in a pair of shoes. You might try to experiment with feet when you're feeling adventurous, but you will probably end up regretting it when you remember how scaly, rough, and smelly feet really are. Let's be honest: Unless a foot has been freshly washed and manicured, you don't want it anywhere near you, especially your mouth. Image source: Getty
Hooking Up In A CarWhen did cars get a reputation for being hot to hook up in, anyway? I blame Jack and Rose and that steamy car. Yeah, they can be beneficial if you cannot get your freak on at home because of other peeps, but they should really be a last resort. Unless you happen to have a stretch limo as your car, you will find that a car hook up is filled with heads being smacked against the roof and seat, accidentally honking the steering wheel with your back, and that gear shifter going up places your rather it never went. Image source: Getty
Getting It On OutsideHooking up outside is supposed to be ~*super hot*~ because of the chance that you could get caught. In reality, you will spend so much time panicking that you could get caught that you won't even really be that turned on. And you will spend more time worrying about making too much noise and listening for footsteps than actually enjoying what you're doing. Oh, and then there's the fact that bare body parts in dirt, mud, twigs, and leaves are not a good combination. Image source: Getty
Complicated, Bendy PositionsGood for you for wanting to experiment and try something different than the usual missionary position. While you might feel proud that you can check off the flying squirrel, crouching tiger hidden dragon, and fusilli pasta positions off of your list, you might not get as much enjoyment out of them as you expect. Why? The truth is that sometimes a simple position can be better. At the end of the day, you're still trying to put the P in the V and if you can do it quicker without pulling your neck and twisting bae's back, you'll get more enjoyment out of it. Image source: Getty
Lighting A Ton Of CandlesFirst, candles are actually very expensive. Secondly, they're a fire hazard. That is just amplified when there are people rolling around near them. Even if you have a few candles on your nightstand when you're hooking up, you will be very concerned about knocking one over or ending up with your hair dipped in the hot wax. And if you're not concerned, you should be. Setting anything on fire is never sexy. Image source: Getty
Sexy GamesYou might initially be thankful for that naughty deck of cards or sexy dice because they will help you decide how this thing is going to go down without having to tell bae to insert the [blank] in the [blank] at [blank] speed. What usually ends up happening is that the game lasts for two minutes before you and bae get so turned on that you leave the game pieces behind and go about doing your own thing. And you will never use that $25.99 game again. Image source: Getty
HarnessesWe can blame Christian Grey for this one. The vast majority of people don't have a red room of pain. They don't even have a red closet of pain. Therefore, suspending harnesses isn't going to happen. And if it was possible, most of us won't go through all that work. As for wearing a harness, you will feel like you're dressed like a ridiculous dog. And when you start moving in one, you will wish you were a dog because you would at least have a thick fur coat to protect your delicate body from all of the chafing. Ouch. Image source: Getty
Role PlayingA few of our favorite TV shows have tried to make a case for how fun role playing can be. Remember Blair and Chuck? In reality, the only people who are actually good at role playing are actors or wannabe actors. Being a mad scientist loses it's appeal fast when you're turned on and don't want to try to think of *sexy* test tube innuendos anymore. You. Just. Want. To. Get. It. On. Image source: Getty
What other “sexy” things do you think are overrated? Let us know in the comments!
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