7 Surefire Ways To Win Him Back After A Breakup

Breakups aren’t easy, but generally, they’re for the best. Couples don’t break up for no reason, just the same as people don’t throw each other to the wayside for giggles – if a breakup happens, it’s probably for the best. Maybe you guys really weren’t mean to be together, even if you really wanted that to be true. But.


Every now and then, a relationship ends too soon. Maybe it’s because you two need some time to grow apart from each other, or maybe one of you is going through a rough patch and needs to be alone – regardless, breakups aren’t always necessarily permanent. We all know at least one person, or one friend of a friend, who has gotten back with their ex and made things work perfectly the second time around. This can give you false hope sometimes, but other times, you actually might want to get back with your ex. If you’re stuck pining away for your old flame and think the two of you could really make it if you gave it another shot, here’s a few tips and tricks you can use to win him back:

Take Some Time For Personal Improvement

Just before my ex and I broke up, he told me that I was a “miserable” person who “brings him down emotionally.” As you can see that really stuck with me, and since I kicked that loser to the curb I’ve made new friends, picked up another side job, and become a certified BodyPump instructor. My point is, there’s never any harm in taking some “me” time to mold yourself into the best version of yourself that you can be – and hopefully once you’ve become that person, he’ll take notice. My ex took notice, but I told him to kick rocks and drown in a bathtub. It felt great.

Source: iStock

Wait A Little - Don't Try To Win Him Back Too Soon

No one is going to believe that you magically changed into this super put-together and enlightened person overnight. If you were in the habit of giving him the silent treatment when you were still dating on Monday, then come Wednesday he’s not going to believe you when you say, “I don’t do that anymore, I’ve really matured as a person.” Give him a reasonable amount of space, and the same goes for yourself – who knows? Maybe in three months you’ll have found someone better and you won’t even want him back!

Source: iStock

Show How You've Changed

Maybe the breakup was a little more your fault than his. If you guys broke up because you kept getting drunk and making out with random dudes not named “Your Boyfriend,” show him how you’ve gotten past that – maybe you’ve quit drinking, or maybe you don’t go out on the weekends like you used to. If you broke up because you were always jealous and possessive, show him that you're working on learning how to trust. Regardless of what it was, take that reason, have a good round of self-reflection and decide two things for yourself:

1. Is this something that I need to fix with myself?

2. Is this something that I want to fix with myself?

If the answer to both is yes, then go right on ahead – if not, then don’t bother hitting up your ex.

Source: iStock

Make Sure He’s In A Good Place To Get Back With You

Or maybe the breakup was more his fault. If you guys broke up because he’s going through a rough patch in life, make sure he’s not still there. Nothing good will come of breaking up because his mom has cancer, followed by getting back together a week later…and yet his mom still has cancer. If you broke up because he was flirting with other girls, and he says he can't promise to stop doing that, then that's a problem. Nothing’s changed, you just got what you wanted, but guess what – you two will probably break up yet again because while you’re happy, he’s back at square one.

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Be Honest About How You Feel

Honest communication is so, so important if you're trying to get back with an ex. You can't just pretend things have changed if they haven't just so you win him back. Don't go for some move-style declaration of love and romance just to impress him. Be honest! Talk! Tell him you miss him and you've been thinking a lot and you feel like you two deserve another go-around. See how he feels, let him talk, listen to what he says. It sounds basic, but it's often forgotten.

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Take Things Slow

If you guys broke up a few weeks or months ago, and you want to try things again, great - but don't just jump back into that serious relationship you had going on before. Immediately falling back into old habits will ensure that nothing changes - and that's not what you want in this situation. Instead, pretend you haven't dated already, kind of. Don't hang out or talk as much as you used to. Do different things when you hang out - if you always watched movies in his basement, start going out and doing things. Don't make it Facebook official until you're sure it's going to work. Stuff like that.

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Remember That You Don't Need Him

Listen, to be honest? Trying to get him back might not work out, and that can be really disappointing. So remember: You are a strong, independent girl all on your own who is beautiful without having man candy draped across her arm. And all those things about yourself that you’re thinking about changing? Think about them without your ex attached – are those things you want to change, or are you just changing for the sake of him? Because if you’re changing for someone else, that’s never a good move; you should always choose to change yourself for yourself, and never for someone else.

Source: iStock

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