So, it happened.
Maybe you were expecting this to happen from the jump, or maybe you’re genuinely shocked by such an act of betrayal. But it happened, and you’re furious: You found out that your friend’s BF cheated on them. Whether you saw them hanging out with some other girl on the DL, or you saw their profile pop up on Tinder, you know that your friend’s boyfriend is a scrub and he needs to be dealt with.
So, what do you do? That’s easy: You tell your friend! Seriously, this shouldn’t be up for debate, and you definitely shouldn’t second guess yourself about whether or not it’s your place to get involved. Imagine if your friend spotted your partner cheating and didn’t want to tell you because they didn’t want to get involved? You’d be pissed, right? So please, if this happens, let your friend know.
However–and this is a big however–there are some things you really shouldn’t do before spilling the beans. Check out these seven things you should never do if you catch your friend’s BF cheating.
Tell Your Mutual Friends Before The Friend Who Has Been Cheated OnSo, you know your friend's BF is cheating, but you're not sure what to tell your friend just yet. Yeah, understandable, but that doesn't mean it's an excuse to tell all of your other mutual friends about what happened first. Don't gossip about this, girl, especially if you're relying on your friends to keep it a secret. I assure you the information will get back to your friend who was cheated on, and she's going to be pissed that you told all your friends before telling her. Avoid this recipe for disaster. The Craft
Come Without ReceiptsNobody wants to believe that their boyfriend is cheating on them; denial is a hell of a drug. So if you're going to confront your friend with the nasty truth, have your receipts gathered, sis. If you saw them on Tinder, take a screenshot. If you see them getting cozy with some other girl, take a sneaky pic. This will also help your friend if she confronts her boyfriend about this cheating allegation; if he denies it, she'll have proof to shove in his face. Clueless
Use A Fast And Loose Definition Of Cheating In The First PlaceOkay, listen, we know you want to do what's best for your friend, and you won't do that by jumping to conclusions. If her boyfriend is cheating, make sure you really know that they're cheating. And I mean really cheating, like making an online dating profile, hanging out with other girls in an intimate one-on-one, etc. Just because you peeped them liking the Instagram photo of some cute mutual classmate doesn't mean that your friend's BF is cheating, okay? Be precise. Dazed and Confused
Keep It To YourselfLike I said in the intro, you're not being a bigger person for minding your business. You're just being a bad friend and a total coward. Again, what if your friend discovered that your S.O. was cheating on you. Wouldn't you want them to tell you? Of course you would. Tell your friend the truth, ASAP. Submarine
Confront The Cheating Boyfriend YourselfI know the urge to do this is so strong. You probably want to shout in their face...or, er, punch them in the face. But please, don't confront the boyfriend yourself, especially if you haven't told your friend about her boyfriend's cheating yet. If you confront him first, he might prep himself for a good excuse (or some good denial) once you tell your friend. It's best that he's left in ignorant bliss, thinking he got away with being a cheater while your friend prepares to surprise him with a serious talk...or a cuss out, whatever style your friend prefers. Pretty In Pink
Try To Convince Your Friend To Break Up With Her BF Without Telling Her The TruthPlease, just tell your friend the truth. Do not try to avoid having that awkward conversation by figuring out a more organic way for your friend to break up with her no good boyfriend instead. Don't try mind games, like asking your friend if she really loves her boyfriend, or convincing her that she deserves a better boyfriend than the one she's got. Your friend is going to be confused and hurt that you're slamming her boyfriend for what she'll see as no good reason. In fact, she might just start to resent you for trying to separate her from her boyfriend and might accuse you of being jealous or something. Honesty is the best policy, girl. That '70s Show
Make Excuses For HimLook, no matter what you think of your friend or her relationship with her boyfriend, this is not the time to rationalize why her boyfriend might have cheated. Even if you secretly think your friend was sort of an awful girlfriend, or you think that they just weren't compatible, don't shrug off her boyfriend's awful behavior just because you're blasé about it. Be there to support her, period. Skins