7 Signs Your Hookup Buddy Isn’t Looking To Get Into A Relationship

Sadly, the story of catching feelings for your friend with benefits is all too common these days. One day the two of you are hooking up and you’re feeling like a total badass for being so casual about it, the next you’re crying about how he led you on for months without one signal sign that he wasn’t interested in making things serious. How could he?!

Oh wait, FALSE! He did give you signs, you just didn’t pay attention to them because you were starting to like him and thought he’d eventually change his mind. Unless he deliberately misled you by lying, chances are good that he made his intentions clear – you just wanted to believe they would change.

Want to save yourself from a broken heart? You’ve just gotta pay attention. It’s not complicated – dating stuff like this is usually pretty simple, it’s just that many of us tend to overanalyze and complicate things until we’re convinced the situation is moving in our favor, especially when emotions are involved. In reality there’s a slew of things guys say and do to tell girls they’re not looking for a relationship or anything serious. Here are a few signs he’s not going to make your relationship serious:


He Has Already Said He's Not Looking For A Relationship

Yeah you’re reading this and thinking “Duh,” but it still happens. So many girls could save themselves so much heartache if they just took it to heart when a guy says they don’t want a girlfriend. And no, don’t fool yourself; just because he says it now does NOT guarantee he’ll change his mind later. You could be the coolest girl on planet earth and it won’t guarantee he’ll wind up catching feelings. Don’t take a chance here -- believe him when he tells you ahead of time.

Source: iStock

He Won’t Go Anywhere In Public With You

I had a FWB who would never get food with me and it was the most annoying experience of my life. We’d hook up and I, like a normal human being, would be like “Hey it’s 3 A.M. you wanna go to Taco Bell?” and he’d be like “ZzzZzzZZzzZZ….” Jokes aside, that’s actually fairly accurate – I’d suggest dinner and drinks just to try a new place out, he’d be like “Nah but I can show up at your place around midnight to hump if you want.” It wasn’t even that I was trying to tie him down; I just like going out to dinner and if he’s coming over at midnight already then why not? If he won’t do anything with you out in public (even casually), it’s a sign.

Source: iStock

If You Two DO Wind Up Hanging Out In Public, He Mostly Ignores You

Girl, if he were into you he would be all. Over. Dat. Booty in public. Not in an aggressive sexual way or anything, but you know – flirting with you, touching you lightly, smiling a lot, keeping eye contact, etc. But if you wind up going out in a big group of friends with him and he doesn’t even look your way twice? Maybe it’s time to go re-download Tinder and find a guy who would be happy to throw a ring down on that finger. An easy way to tell is if you keep looking at him, but you never catch him looking at you; there’s no way if he were trying to sneak looks back at you all night that you’d never eventually wind up making eye contact. I’ve never taken a statistics class, but good ol’ life has taught me it’s literally impossible.

Source: iStock

He Only Comes Over Late At Night

How late is late? I’d say 9:00 or later is late. 9:00 is the grey area where he could just be busy from work but actually enjoys your company before getting down to business by bedtime, whereas if he’s hitting you up at midnight and never earlier, take the hint. Or, alternatively, depending on the guy he could be coming over earlier except he’s still obviously not interested because…

Source: iStock

He Is Always HAMMERED When He Comes Over

If he rolls up at 7:00 P.M. in time for dinner, you might have a chance at converting him, but if he staggers up to your door completely sloshed? Nope, not a chance. Yeah he’s over at your place earlier than lights out, but you are clearly not his first choice in activities that night since anyone with a nose can smell he went out drinking Jameson with friends before coming over. Chances are better than good that he’ll throw out a few limp humps and pass out by 8:00 anyway, and it’s a coin toss as to whether or not he spends a solid thirty puking in your bathroom. Do you really want this guy anyway? You can do better than a soon-to-be thrice-failed AA frequent flyer.

Source: iStock

He Doesn’t Respond To Your Texts For Hours At A Time

You texted him asking how his day was. He said “Good, yours?” Then you responded with six paragraphs at 12:01 describing your exact morning routine and how your PSL had too much PS, to which he didn’t reply back until 5:43. What gives?!! Well, for starters, any text that was two words long does not require a six-paragraph response. Also, if he’s taking more than an hour to respond to your texts, he is trying to show his disinterest. Carrying a conversation with you is not a priority, otherwise he would’ve responded faster than the runtime an entire Law & Order: SVU marathon.

Source: iStock

There's No Real Chemistry

Plenty of girls fall into the trap that just because they’re hooking up with a guy means that they should start dating. And it’s not even his fault – the two of you have the most absolutely boring conversations. You don’t click. Neither of you really enjoys spending time with the other outside of fondling your parts, and even when that’s done you’re more inclined to leave and go home than to spend the night. If you were to name all the things you liked about him that list would be blank aside from “1. Has a warm bod and stiff rod.” The next time you find yourself falling for your FWB, ask yourself – if you hadn’t already slept with him a handful of times, would you still like him the way you think you do now? Probably not!

Source: iStock

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