8 Reasons Guys Stop Pursuing A Girl They Like

To say the dating world can be confusing is an understatement. Sometimes you start talking to someone you like, but they don’t seem that interested, and things end up fizzling out. Okay, that kind of makes sense. Sometimes you start hooking up with someone, and you think they might become interested, but then they turn around one day and start seriously dating someone else. That’s just infuriating. And then, sometimes, you’re talking to and hanging out with someone who seems like he genuinely likes you… and then one day, out of the blue, he stops texting or trying to make plans. That just makes you scream, “What the eff?!” to anyone who will listen.

What makes a guy stop pursuing a girl he seems to like? Do his feelings just disappear? Does he find someone he likes more? Does he just get bored? Sure, those are definite possibilities, but another possibility is this – you might have done something to show him that he should stop trying so hard for your affection. How do you know for sure? Well, you could always ask, but you could also start by doing a little research. A recent Ask Reddit thread asked guys what makes them stop pursuing a girl they like, and their answers were honest and surprisingly similar to each other. Here are a few reasons your crush might stop talking to you, even if you thought they were a sure thing:


If She Doesn't Seem That Excited About Things

A lot of the time, we try to play it cool when we meet someone new so that we don't freak them out. Fair enough, but playing it too cool and acting like you don't care about anything is probably going to backfire. User br0kenhandleMale says, "I ask a girl out just one time and anything other than a YES! is a no. Not really into playing this game of trying to convince someone to give me a shot."

Hey, it can take guts to ask someone out - and if that person doesn't seem into it, why would you want to continue trying?

Source: iStock

If She Doesn't Want To Kiss After A Few Times Of Hanging Out

For some guys, the physical stuff is super important - so important that it could be a deal breaker. User Naebany says, "When she doesn't want to kiss after second or third date. She must really be bored to go out with me but not interested in me sexually at the same time." I mean, I get what he's saying, but listen - if you don't feel ready to kiss someone or do anything physical with them, definitely NEVER do it just because you're afraid they'll walk away. The right person won't!"

Source: iStock

If She Says No To Hanging Out Three Times

Surprise, surprise: if a girl keeps turning down requests to hang out, eventually the guy is going to stop asking. User CrazyIke47 says, "She gets three attempts to hang out. If she can't make it any of those three attempts by me, that's it, we're done. 'Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.' - Maya Angelou" Hey, fair enough. I also kind of love that he quotes Maya Angelou.

Source: iStock

If She Cancels Once Without Rescheduling

Some dudes are even more picky - if you cancel just once, that could be it. User LEIFeyOmnomnom says, "If they cancel once without a reason or without rescheduling, I stop pursuing. That's just rude." True! If you have to cancel a date, explain why - don't just say, "Sorry, can't make it later!" It's polite to give a reason, and it's very polite to suggest another time that would work for both of you. If you don't, it could come across as you not being interested.

Source: iStock

If He Notices Her Talking To Other Guys

Sometimes girls think a good way to get someone's attention is to flirt with other guys to make the person jealous. You're better off not doing this! User Jazz-unMeh says, "Competition and games. Ain't nobody got time for that. I'm a guy who likes one girl at a time, I just wish I met more girls my age who were like that. Seems people are always entertaining multiple options and I'm a lot more straightforward than that so I don't entertain having to compete and/or play games trying to figure someone out. Better things to do with my time." I don't blame him!

Source: iStock

If She Takes A Long Time To Answer Texts

Another way you could be showing disinterest? Ignoring texts. User RecycledEternity says, "Doing the whole "not responding" thing to simple conversation even though I know for a fact their phones are glued to their faces/hands all the time. (This one's especially anger-inducing because sometimes you see them update Facebook/Twitter/Instagram... what, they can't spare two seconds to say "I'm busy", but they have enough time to write several sentences and post shit to social accounts?)"

Source: iStock

If They Disagree On Big Stuff

Some guys think more about the future and the practical stuff. User fbblue88 says, "More specifically if me and girl don't match up with certain core beliefs/politics as well. Opposites attract sometimes but not when our core values are on different ends of the spectrum." That's true! If you met someone who didn't agree with something that was very important to you, you might also find it to be a deal breaker.

Source: iStock

If He's The Only One Trying

What does this all come down to? If the guy feels like you're not into it, he's going to back away. User CommanderRegMale says, "Around the 4th or 5th time I’m the one who initiates texting/calling/plans without reciprocation." So, text first sometimes! Ask if he wants to hang out! Not doing so might end up pushing him away.

Source: iStock

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