7 Ways To Stop Talking And Finally Start Dating

I’ve been a pretty open skeptic of the concept of “talking” as a relationship status. Talking is just like another way of saying, “we’re hooking up on a regular basis and hang out on the regular but we don’t want to define the relationship because IDK LOL.” No offense if you’re in one of these situations right now–we’ve all been there–but aren’t you tired of this BS? Like, especially if you’ve been talking to someone for months now.

Take matters into your own hands, girl. If you want to move your relationship from talking to dating–and, you know, maybe being actual boyfriend and girlfriend, girlfriend and girlfriend, partner and partner, whatever you prefer–then you might need to take the initiative here. I know, it can be scary, but why stay in limbo for much longer? Check out these seven ways to stop talking and start dating. Enough beating around the bush, okay?


Let Them Know That They're The Only One You're Talking To

Okay, some people lie when they say that they're only talkin' to one person...but you won't be lying when you tell your partner that they're the only one they're talking to. And hopefully your partner isn't if they say that you're the only one they're talking to too. Hopefully this will be their response, but even if they reveal that they're talking to multiple people rn, it's better that they're honest, right?

My Mad Fat Diary

Actually Go Out On A Real Date For Once

If you want to move from talking to dating, you have to do stuff that isn't just watching Netflix and hooking up when nobody is home. That means, like, actually going outside and doing a fun activity. It means going out to dinner, or a concert, or a movie, or effing laser tag. Something.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Test The Waters Of Their Comfort Zone And Propose Posting A Pic Of You Two

For some, a mark of being official (whether you DTR or not) is posting a selfie of the two of you on social media, and actually being cool with it. So propose taking a selfie with them that you'll post to Snapchat and Instagram. If they react positively that's a good sign. If they get cagey about it and awkwardly imply that they'd rather you not post anything, sorry, they're not ready to date you yet.

Submarine

Look For Signs That They Want Something More

Your partner might want to make things official, but is too scared to initiate that Talk. So be on the lookout for them to make a bunch of hints instead. For example, maybe they'll mention wanting to have you as a date to homecoming or prom. Maybe they'll ask you to have dinner with their family. Little things like this indicate wanting something long term.

Freaks and Geeks

Casually Mention How Silly You Think 'Talking' Culture Is

If you agree with me that this "talking: nonsense is, well, nonsense, speak on it! Mention it to your partner and gauge their reaction. Are they just as over it as you are? Or do they defend it vehemently and go on and on about its merits? If the answer is the latter, whoever you're hookin' up with right now just ain't ready for anything official yet.

Skins

Realize That You Two Are Already Basically In A Relationship And Just Define It With Them Officially

You two hang out with each other a lot, not just for hooking up. You text constantly. You never feel like you overstay your welcome when you stay the night. You don't mind leaving your belongings at their place; hell, maybe you even have a toothbrush there. Your parents know them, too. Does any of this apply to you and the person you're talking to? Congrats, y'all are literally dating, you're just not calling it dating. Mention this to your partner and see what they think. If they're the person you deserve to date, they'll own up to it and decide to become official.

Bring It On

Set An Ultimatum

If you're really done beating around the bush, set an ultimatum. Let your partner know that you want to figure out what you guys are or you'll stop the hook ups. I mean, this person you've been "talking to" for months should be able to at least give a forecast of where they see the two of you in the near future, right? If the forecast is bleak, cut 'em loose (don't worry, you can do it nicely). If it looks clear, hey, maybe you two are on the fast track to becoming official.

Some Girls

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

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