9 Unpopular Opinions About Relationships That Are Actually True

There is so much relationship advice out there that taking it all into consideration can be dizzying. Of course, what this advice comes down to is a matter of opinions. Some opinions are more controversial and rare – like the fact that monogamy isn’t realistic – but some are ones that the majority of people seem to agree on. This includes the idea that cheating is the worst betrayal a partner can do against you, that long distance relationships are incredibly hard and often not worth it, and that sex is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. For some people, these are all very true. But then there are the more unpopular relationship opinions that a lot of people don’t agree on, and sometimes, those are the ones we all really need to hear.

Now, obviously, every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple might be devastating to another couple. That’s fine! You do what works for you. That said, there are some hard truths about relationships that you might need to think about, even if you don’t particularly want to. Basically, this is some unconventional dating advice – and of course, it’s from an Ask Reddit thread. Check out these unpopular opinions about relationships that are actually pretty accurate:

Snooping Is Just As Bad As Cheating

Here's a controversial opinion: snooping is just as bad of a betrayal as someone doing something shady. User reallybigleg says, "I think snooping is just as bad as having some of the things you might find. Let's say having nude pictures of your ex. Actually, I think I'd go further than that...I actually think snooping is worse than having nudes. The nude pictures thing doesn't necessarily constitute a betrayal to me. It doesn't necessarily suggest they are still in love with their ex or that they prefer an ex to you, it just means that they haven't got rid of them yet. It might be they forgot they were there, or they may have looked at them out of a kind of taboo curiosity or for porn use, without there being any real intent. So to me, the ownership of said pictures may or may not constitute a betrayal, but it is not a foregone conclusion. However, snooping always constitutes a betrayal, because it breaks the trust one has in a relationship."

This makes sense. When you snoop on your partner, you are actively betraying them and their trust. If they've asked you before not to snoop, and you do it, then it's even worse. So, you're getting mad at them for betraying you by, say, having porn or flirting with someone else - but you are also betraying them. In my opinion, it isn't quite as bad as cheating, but it is definitely a more serious betrayal than a lot of people say it is.

Source: iStock

Sometimes You Shouldn't Break Up Over Serious Problems

Asking someone - a stranger or a friend - for advice about a relationship problem can be tricky, because it's really easy for an outsider to say that you guys should end things. However, that's not always true. User ZizzerZazzer says, " Not everything is worth dissolving a relationship over. My husband's inability to get his dirty socks in the hamper does not mean we should divorce. Relatedly, Working through tough times doesn't make you weak. This apparently makes me a doormat. Call me a ride or die chick, call me Tammy "Stand by Your Man" Wynette, Call me weak. But I think so many people on relationship threads and conversations act like the smallest issues are relationship enders. There's a line between being a complete pushover and being too quick to walk away and I like to think I walk it well."

I definitely agree with this! Relationships involve conflict, and sometimes you have to learn how to work through it. Every argument, even a serious one, isn't grounds for a breakup. And if you choose to be with someone after they do something big - like cheat or lie about something important - that can be okay too.

Source: iStock

It's Okay To Only Be With One Person

If you are a young person in a relationship, then you probably get this advice all the time: "You're young! Date other people! Get out there! Don't tie yourself down!" But you know what? You don't always need to date around. User Lifesabitchh says, "That if you're dating someone you truly love, have mutual respect for/with, same long term goals and timetable for them, good communication and all that, even if you're young, that you should stay together rather than go ahead and test out the waters/see if the grass is greener on the other side. I'm not saying you meet at 18 and get married a month later, but just stick together and grow with one another. Basically, don't throw a good thing away just because there might be better."

If you're happy in your relationship, it doesn't matter if you've never been with anyone else or experienced other people. I know a few people who married the first person they kissed, and they're perfectly happy!

Source: iStock

There's Nothing Wrong With Traditional Gender Roles

In today's world, playing into traditional gender roles in a relationship can be frowned upon. But, as user morganKxoxo says, "There's nothing wrong with traditional gender roles as long as it's what both people want." It's true: as long as you're both happy, then it doesn't matter what other people think. Feminism is about the ability to make your own choices, so if you want to be a girlfriend or wife who takes care of her man, that's fine! That's your choice.

Source: iStock

You Shouldn't Be Opposites

Ever hear the saying "opposites attract?" Of course you have. Here's the thing: it's not always 100 percent true. User peanutjar says, "Personality compatibility does matter. Maybe you're a Christian, a very committed one. If you get in a relationship with an atheist, it will be a rocky road. Not even talking about differences in beliefs, but the fact that for a committed Christian, church life, the community, missions, sermons and so on play a great hole in his/her life, so being unable to share those things with you SO will erode the relationship with time. Maybe you're a devoted traveler, in a way every hobby you have revolves around outdoors, camping, hitchhiking, surfing. But your SO is a couch potato. Even though your SO and you compromise and feel ok by you traveling by your own/with friends while your SO does something else or stays at home, it will feel like something's missing. And that something grows with time."

You and your partner have to have certain things in common, and you should have similar likes and dislikes. This doesn't mean you need to love all the same things, but you should have common interests, or things are going to be tough.

Source: iStock

Relationships Shouldn't Be Too Hard

I'm sure you've also heard the phrase, "Relationships are hard work." Some people, however, disagree. User destria says, "I often see the view, particularly on Reddit, that relationships are 'hard work' and that all relationships require you to put in a lot of work. Sometimes that goes along with the sentiment that all relationships involve fights and conflict, like that's an inevitable part of relationships. I get the sentiment behind that, I get that relationships require involvement from both parties, but I've never understood why that should be interpreted as 'hard' work. My relationship with my SO has never felt like 'hard work,' in fact, I'd say the relationship makes my life a lot easier! Yes I invest energy, time and emotions into the relationship but I'd never describe that as 'hard work.' I don't have to do anything special for my SO, I can just be me. My romantic relationship is literally the easiest relationship I have with anyone precisely because I don't really feel like anything that I do can be considered work. Compared to some friendships I have which do feel like work, my relationship with my SO is so easy."

I agree with this - to a point. For the most part, the right relationship will feel easy and will make you happy. But there are times in every relationship, I think, that are tough. So, the whole relationship shouldn't always be hard work, but sometimes it will be! In general, though, it won't be a huge struggle if it's right.

Source: iStock

Your Sex Life Doesn't Have To Be Amazing

Most people believe that in order for a relationship to be strong, the sex has to be really good. This isn't true for everyone! User JennyReason says, "Not having a very good sex life isn't a huge deal, or at least it doesn't have to be. In every relationship there are going to be things that work well (you and your partner have great communication, you like each other's families, etc.) and things that are challenges (you have differing religious views, one of you is neat and one of you is messy, etc.). We normally accept that a good relationship will have some areas where you and your partner struggle, but for some reason if sex is one of those areas, people tend to be like "whoa, a relationship without a good sex life isn't going to work, that's just a deal breaker" etc. However, I see sex life as just one of the many areas in your relationship that can be good or bad. If it's a problem area but otherwise your partnership is really happy, that can be okay."

This definitely makes sense! Sex isn't the number one priority for everyone, and like this girl said, it's okay if it's one of the conflicts you have to work through.

Source: iStock

It's Okay To Live Together Early In A Relationship

Even in 2017, there is still a negative stigma around living with someone early in your relationship... and I don't know why. User g_tea says, "That there's nothing wrong with living together very early on in the relationship, well before engagement/marriage/etc is on the cards. If you don't work well living together, that's not something that time/waiting is going to fix. You either do or you don't. So you may as well learn that early on before investing a lot of years into a relationship that is doomed to failure."

It's true! My now-fiance and I lived together before getting engaged, and a lot of people told us we were crazy for doing that. I don't agree! We wanted to make sure we could happily live together before getting married, and I think that's a good idea for anyone in a relationship.

Source: iStock

Long Distance Relationships Aren't Always A Failure

Long distance relationships are really looked down upon, but you know what? Sometimes they CAN work! User Redhaired103 says, "The advice not to have a long distance relationship with someone you like because how difficult LDRs are makes no sense to me. My own parents started off as a long distance couple when there was no internet, video chat and stuff. They stayed married for +27 years, until my dad passed away. My mom still wears her wedding ring 15 years later. So my perspective is probably different than most people. Yes LDRs are difficult, yes there has to be a plan to close the distance, but not every good thing comes easy and sometimes that good thing might never come in your life again."

LDRs are definitely hard, but if you really love the person, you guys can make it work. It doesn't always work, but it can - I've seen it!

Source: iStock

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  • Ingrid

    That’s a great post! Thank you for sharing those oppinions!
    I totally agree with them. What I usually observe is that people always advice others based on their own experience, which can sometimes give rise to mistakes.
    The logic is: “if something didn’t work for me, it totally won’t work for you as well.” This line of thought is SO problematic. May it be delusion/jealousy or kindness (your friend actually wants you to be happy!), always keep in mind that things don’t work the same for everyone!
    Take LDR for example. People are always looking down on them. Like these kind of relationships will eventually go wrong, and you will grow out of them.
    As someone who is in a long distance relationship, I can say I couldn’t be happier. We are almost a year together, talk 24/7, and the relationship it’s quite easy to mantain! I was already feeling happy and fullfiled with my single life, but now I’m feeling even happier! The grass may be greener outside, but I’m content with the way I’m living. If I ever happen to break up with my partner, I won’t blame it on LDRs. It will be my own particular issue, and only mine.
    If more people thought this way, we would pay less attention to what others think about us.