I’m sure, like any girl with a brain, the first thing you thought of when you witnessed the fidget spinner craze last summer was, “Oh my god, I can’t wait for the super sexy Halloween costume version of this to come out.” At least, that’s what the Halloween costume industry probably thinks you thought, because there is, in fact, a sexy fidget spinner Halloween costume for you to purchase if you so please.
Sexy Halloween costumes obviously aren’t a new thing; it’s been a concept for decades by now. But what used to just be costumes constructed out of whatever lingerie you can buy and some bunny ears has transformed into a massive industry of legit costumes from costume suppliers that are meant to make you look like a sexed up version of everything from Super Mario to the poop emoji.
I’ve never bought a sexy Halloween costume, but they must be profitable because they get sexier and more ridiculous with every year. But, hey, I still don’t know what I want to be this year, so maybe this is finally the year that I go the ultra sexy, overpriced costume route. If you’re in the same clueless boat, join me in checking out these 12 sexy Halloween costumes you definitely want to rock this year. There’s no better year than 2017 to be a sexy Pennywise, after all.
Sexy Pregnant Kylie JennerAs fellow Gurl writer Sara said, "The devil works hard, but Yandy works harder." That ain't more clear than with this PREGNANT KYLIE JENNER COSTUME. It's literally called "Reality Star In The Making." Guys... Buy it at Yandy for $59
Sexy Fake NewsNothing says sexy like the favorite refrain of our crypto-fascist president, amirite? I'm getting turned on by the very thought. Buy it at Yandy for $49.95
Sexy Border Patrol AgentIf you like your sex appeal with a side of xenophobia and violence, you'll LOVE this sexy border patrol agent costume. I'm sure it's very popular in Arizona. Buy it at Amazon for $34
Yandy Sexy Northern Queen CostumeI mean, I'm sure that if Jon Snow was a woman, he would wear this practical look in the frigid northern weather. Winter is comin', y'all. Buy it at Yandy for $49.95
Dolls Kill Fidget Me Spinner CostumeYou know what? I've honestly got nothing. Buy it at Dollskill for $38
Sexy TrumpThis costume would have been a lot funnier last year. Now it's just sad. Sad and sexy. Buy it at Yandy for $39.95
Sexy ElevenOf course there's a sexy!Eleven costume. Nothing is sexier than her character, after all. Who wouldn't want to be the sexualized version of a child character? Buy it at Halloween Costumes for $49.99
Death GuardSure, Baywatch might have been a box office bomb, but this SEXY DEATH INSPIRED riff on the traditional Baywatch apparel is to die for. Sorry. Buy it at Dolls Kill for $34
Sexy Border WallWhat's sexier than a skin tight display of anti-immigrant sentiment? Oh, right, literally anything else. Buy it at Amazon for $29.95
Sexy Girl ScoutNot only is this a sexy girl scout, it's a SEXY GIRL SCOUT FROM HELL. You can tell because it says 666 on her uniform. Wow, so spooky, guys. Spooky and sexy. Spexy. Buy it at Dolls Kill for $42
Sexy BeastWhy be sexy Belle when you could be a sexy Beast instead? Screw gender norms, and make it sexy I suppose. Buy it at Lingerie Diva for $49.95
Sexy Hugh HefnerYou should totally wear this super sexy number in celebration of Hugh Hefner dying...I guess. Very topical. Everyone loves a topical costume.Buy it at Yandy for $79.95