Being pressured to do anything totally sucks. You want to do what everyone else is doing and seem cool and make your friends happy, but you also want to be comfortable yourself. So, where do you draw the line? No one likes to be put in an uncomfortable situation, and it stings even more when you don’t notice that it’s happening, especially when it comes to sex.
Sure, there will be partners out there who respect your choices and decisions, but there also might be some crappy people who get a little selfish when it comes to sex. This can happen at any stage in a relationship – whether you’ve been together for years or for just a week. It’s easy to be pressured into sex without even realizing. The worst part is realizing it after the fact, and feeling regretful or ashamed. I never want you to feel that way, so here are some subtle signs that you might be getting pressured into sex. If you think these things are happening to you, take a second to evaluate what you REALLY want.
You Say No At First, Then You Feel GuiltyThis sucks, but you might be guilting yourself into wanting to sex, even if you really don't want to do it. If you say no, then your partner seems bummed out or complains, then you say yes, you could subconsciously be trying to please them, instead of listening to what you really want. Image Source: Getty
They Say "It's Been A While"Just because you've had sex with someone before, doesn't mean you have to have sex with them again - even if they are your partner. If you haven't had sex in a certain amount of days or weeks and your partner insists that they "deserve" sex, then you are totally being pressured into it. You don't owe anyone anything! Image Source: Getty
They Try To Convince YouThe most important thing you can remember when you are sexually active is that "no does not mean 'convince me.'" If you say no, you mean no. It does not give your partner the right to try and say "but I'm horny!" since that is unfair and manipulative. If you say no and your partner tries to proceed anyway, it's unhealthy. If they respect you, they will not want to pressure you. Image Source: Getty
They "Bribe" YouI once read about a girl who had a boyfriend that would buy her all of these sex toys, so she felt obligated to have sex with him. It makes me so sad, guys! Just because a guy gets you something (whether is a sexy toy or just a gift) it doesn't mean that you owe them anything in return. Another thing to remember is just because they send you a sext does NOT mean you have to send one in return! Image Source: Getty
They Don't Respect Your Contraception ChoicesSometimes, guys might try to guilt you into having sex without a condom because they say it "doesn't feel as good with one." That's BS, and they are taking advantage of you. You need to be protected, and if your partner doesn't respect that, do NOT have sex with them. Image Source: Getty
Your Friends Are Doin' ItPeople move at their own pace, and even if your friends are having sex, that doesn't mean that you are supposed to be doing it too. Take your time doing anything like that, and don't ever compare your sex life to someone else's. Image Source: Getty
They Always Have Sex Things ReadyIf you go over to your bae's house and they just so ~happen~ to have lube, condoms, and sex toys out without even discussing sex, it can be very anxiety-inducing. Sure, it's good to be prepared, but they should never assume that you want to do it. It will make things super uncomfortable. Image Source: Getty