We all have that friend who seems to always be in and out of relationships, and most of them don’t end well. Maybe they’re constantly looking for that rebound that fills them with excitement after a nasty break up, or they’re smitten with someone for a while, only to get bored of them after a couple of months. Maybe they always try really hard to keep a relationship together but always get broken up with, or maybe they’re the ones doing the breaking up. Whatever scenario describes that friend of yours, I’m sure that this question is on their mind: Why the hell can’t any of my relationships last?
Maybe I’m not talking about a friend at all, and this actually low key describes you. Well, listen up.
For the record, let it be known that your worth–your desirability, your charm, etc–isn’t determined by whether or not you’re in a relationship. It’s just not. But if you want to be in a long lasting relationship and can’t seem to, it can still feel like a big personal blow. If you want to figure out what it is that makes your relationships so short lived, maybe you should check out these eight reasons why your relationships don’t last. I don’t want you to beat yourself up about this, but a little self-awareness doesn’t hurt:
You Get Too JealousSorry, but this is an absolutely infuriating personality trait to have. It's not cute, and it's driving people away. If you can't even tolerate your boyfriend laughing at another girl's joke without fuming, getting paranoid, accusing them of flirting, etc...you need to chill the eff out. You'll never maintain a happy, healthy relationship if you keep acting like that, period. Grow up, sis. Clueless
You're Searching For A Perfection That Doesn't ExistIf only they were like this. If only they were a little more like that. Yeah, uh, you're picky AF and you're never going to be satisfied. There's nothing wrong with being discerning, but you'll never find someone who is 100 percent perfect. Hell, you'll never find someone who is even 80 percent perfect. Stop looking for things that are wrong with someone and using those things as an excuse to end your relationship. You'll never find a long lasting one if you keep that up. Freaks and Geeks
You're Too ClingyYou don't intend to, but you just have a tendency to get really attached really quickly. There's nothing inherently wrong with this, but it can feel super suffocating if you're with someone who isn't the clingy type. It can especially be bad if you feel the need to insert yourself in every aspect of your partner's life. Like, allow yourself to be a special part of someone's life without being their EVERYTHING, you know? Let them have a life, and live your life too. Space is a good thing, I promise. Skins
You're Still Hung Up On Your ExWhether closure actually exists or not is a debate that we can have another time, but whether it exists or not, the fact is that you definitely don't feel any sense of closure from your last relationship, and it's affecting your current one. Whether you're currently dating someone who is a total rebound or you're with someone after taking a long break, you still have mixed feelings about your ex. Maybe you still have a soft spot for them, or they cheated on you and you have a hard time trusting your new boo, etc. Whatever it is, if you carry this baggage with you to every relationship, nothing will end well. Submarine
You Rely On Relationships To Feel Good About Yourself, But It Never WorksRelationships to you are like a drug. You use them to feel happy, to feel attractive, to feel productive, to feel...something. Here's the thing, dude: Your relationship can't give you a sense of self-worth. I'm not saying you have to be full of confidence and free of self-hate to be in a successful relationship, but you sure as hell can't rely on one to undo that self-hate or to give you self-worth. You get me? You need to spend some time being single and feel more comfortable with you and only you before going on to the next one. Submarine
You Don't Open Yourself UpMaybe you have trust issues, maybe you're just super self-conscious, or shy, or surprised that someone even wants you. Whatever it is, you're like a damn armadillo and your partner can't get you out of your shell. This can be incredibly frustrating to deal with. Talking to your partner shouldn't be work, and if you're a chore to interact with, to get intimate with, etc...yikes. Pretty In Pink
You Don't Know How To CommunicateYou love to let things stew instead of talking it out with your partner. When they ask you what's wrong, you say nothing, and it's a total lie. All this anger and resentment and misunderstanding bubbles under the surface for so long that either you or your partner can't stand it first and the relationship is over before you know it. Please, learn how to talk to people before your next relationship. You might be a work in progress, but give it a try. My So-Called Life
You Fall Into Relationships When You Really Just Wanted To HookupSomehow, you end up in relationships with people you really don't care about beyond sex. Having sex a lot and getting along isn't all it takes to make a good, long lasting relationship. Blue Is The Warmest Color