The older I get, the more stressed out I am by the fact that a lot of people with vaginas–myself included–don’t really know a lot about their own damn vagina. I mean, it’s not hard to understand why. We’re taught about our bodies in a super clinical, not-that-helpful-in-the-real-world kind of way, and who wants to talk to their parents about popping their cherry or a “weird stuff” coming out of their vaginas? Uh, not me.
So, mix this general vaginal cluelessness with our culture’s fixation with virginity–what it is, what it isn’t, what it means, if the state of your virginity determines whether you go to heaven or hell FFS–and you have a large group of people who develop total neuroses about their bits. Yikes. That’s not to say that every virgin is clueless about their vagina or that every non-virgin is a vagina expert, but there are certain nuggets of knowledge that can be particularly helpful for virgins with vaginas, and virgins with vaginas only. Check out these seven things every virgin should know about their vagina. Let’s dispel some myths and misconceptions, shall we?
Your Virginity Has Nothing To Do With Random Objects Going Up Your VaginaFor the record, I think that virginity is a much more complex and varied definition than people assume. The one we usually go by is basically only meant with straight, cis-gender people in mind, and...the world isn't just full of straight cis people; lesbians aren't virgins forever just because they don't have a penis in their vagina. See what I mean? HOWEVER, I think it's important that we at least draw the line at this: Your virginity isn't lost by putting a tampon, vibrator, root vegetable, etc up your vagina. If virginity had any overarching meaning, it would be that of an intimate sexual debut of sorts with another human being. Your super absorbency tampon isn't taking your v-card, dude. Slums of Beverly Hills
Your 'Cherry' Might Already Be PoppedSo many people are worried that a tampon (or a sex toy) will "pop their cherry." In other words, they're worried it'll stretch their hymen and...I don't know, make them impure or something. That's ridiculous for so many reasons, but the biggest is this: Your hymen might already be stretched. Everyone has a different shaped hymen, and they can easily be stretched from everything from playing a lot of sports to having a nasty fall when you were eight-years-old. Don't be concerned about your hymen, seriously. Getty Images
You Don't NEED To Go To The Gyno If You Aren't Sexually Active, Unless Something Funky Is Going OnThere's a lot of misinformation out there, pressuring people to visit a gynecologist by such and such age (I usually hear 18 or 21), but that's not exactly mandatory if you're not sexually active. You should go to the gynecologist the second you do become sexually active, however, and you should never hesitate to go to the gyno if you have other concerns down there. For example, if you think you have a yeast infection or you have super wacky periods, go to the gyno. But don't assume you need to hit up the gyno the second you turn 18 or 21 if you're not doing any sexy stuff. Feel free to chill for a bit. Girls
Figure Out What Feels Good Down ThereJust because you're a virgin, that doesn't mean you have to wait for a partner before you start exploring down there. Plenty of you know that already and are well versed in the ins and outs of pleasure down there, from the clitoris to the G-spot. But if you're not, hey, why figure it out? You shouldn't wait around relying on someone else to come along and show you what feels good. You should figure it out first! The To-Do List
You Won't Necessarily Bleed The First Time You Have SexI feel like we have to repeat this every few weeks on Gurl, because people are still convinced that anytime a virgin has penetrative sex, it's going to be a bloodbath. Not the case. I mean, for some people it is. But for everyone? No way. Plenty of people don't bleed at all. Carrie
A Tampon Or Even A Sex Toy Won't Prep You For An Actual PenisPenetration with an actual human penis attached to an actual human being that you maybe sort of actually care about is totally different than fooling around with a sex toy. And it's definitely different than using a tampon...unless your partner has a very thin and very compact penis. Everything from being unprepared to the actual size to emotional reactions (like nervousness) can make penetration really difficult and painful. Don't get cocky (no pun intended). Some Girls
Vaginal Purity Is Really SillyPeople put way too much value on ridiculous notions of purity, especially as far as vaginas are concerned. Please, don't be one of those people. And if you are, it doesn't hurt to unlearn some of the more sexist, shaming elements of that kind of ideology. Your vagina is yours, take care of it, make sure stuff that looks like cottage cheese doesn't come out of it (sup, yeast infection?). But don't get caught up on associating your worth what what has or hasn't been in your vagina. It's beyond goofy. Saved!
What do you think are some common misconceptions about virgins? Tell us in the comments!