9 Signs You’re A Total Pushover In Your Relationship

Nobody would ever take pride in being a pushover. None of us even want to admit that we can be a pushover, because we like to think of ourselves as strong willed and independent, someone who sticks to their guns, someone who won’t tolerate being taken advantage of. But let’s be real, the world isn’t void of pushovers. You probably have a friend who is a pushover. Maybe you have a sister or a parent who is a pushover. Maybe you’re a pushover yourself.

What you might see as simply being chill and easy going could very well be a mask for the fact that you don’t stand your ground, even when you want to. It’s bad enough to be the pushover in a friendship, but in a romantic relationship? Yikes. That’s not to say that your partner is purposefully taking advantage of your kindness, necessarily. But the ease in which you let people get their way is a troubling quality to have, especially in a romantic relationship; this could lead to a super out of wack power balance on the sex front that you don’t want to deal with. If you’re worried that I’m describing you right now, be sure to check out these nine signs that you’re a total pushover in your relationship. It’s never too late to change your ways.

You Like To Avoid Conflict

In fact, you pride yourself in avoiding conflict, like it's some kind of badge of honor. Look, in some ways it's good to have a personality that likes to avoid drama and deescalate situations. But when you take your conflict avoidance to the extreme, you're opening yourself up for being taken advantage of. Your partner might be using your seemingly easy going nature to convince you to do whatever they want, because they know you'd rather just relent than put up a fight. It's time to speak your truth a bit more. You can like avoiding conflict and have a damn opinion at the same time, you know that, right?


You Do A Lot Of Stuff For Them, And They Don't Do Nearly As Much For You

You help them with homework, you help them prepare for a big exam, you grab takeout for them, you even clean up after them sometimes. And in return? Well, let's just say things feel a little uneven. Or, like, very uneven. That's not to say that they do nothing for you, but you're doing stuff for them a lot more often. Why is that, sis?


You Two Get Into Disagreements Often, And Somehow THEY Always 'Win'

Whether you're debating about the quality of the last few seasons of Game of Thrones, or which Kendrick Lamar album is the best, or if antifa is good or bad, or which restaurant has the best chicken and waffles, somehow, your partner always "wins" these little debates. Somehow or another, they declare themselves the victor, the most "right," and you go along with it. Why? Why is your take less valuable than theirs? Why do they always get the upper hand? And why do you let them?


You Apologize A Lot, And For No Reason

Okay, people have a nervous tendency do to this a lot, especially women. But if you find yourself saying it a lot to your partner--when you're having a disagreement, when you're merely stating your opinion, etc--for literally no reason, then you're probably a huge pushover. Stop apologizing so much! Or, at the very least, start being a little more aware of just how much you do it.


You Don't Feel Like You're On Level Playing Fields In Bed

Unbalanced is just one way to put it for you. You feel like you do a lot for them in the sack, but the other way around? Ha. Ha ha...ha. Yeah, not so much. And instead of addressing this issue head on, you just let it happen. Because you like to avoid conflict, right? And if you have brought it up and only received excuses in return, did you just decide not to press the issue further? Come on, now. Don't do this to yourself, or your genitals. You pleasure shouldn't be up for debate in this way.

Fresh Meat

You're Always At Their Place Or Hanging Out With Their Friends

Your partner isn't really willing to be flexible when it comes to their social affairs. You're almost always hanging out with their friends or at their house. But your friends? Yeah, barely. Your house? Again, barely. If you've suggested that he hang out with your crew or go somewhere you want to go, they'll come up with some kind of excuse not to come through. Sus.

Freaks and Geeks

You've Forgiven Them For Some Really Effed Up Stuff

Whether it was that one time when they stood you up or that time you caught them sliding into someone's DMs, you've always forgiven your partner at their lowest moments. Being a forgiving person isn't necessarily a bad thing, but in a relationship? You have to be really careful. If you happen to be dating someone who constantly toes the line and even ventures into straight up Bad Boyfriend/Bad Girlfriend/Bad Partner territory, they will absolutely take advantage of your forgiving nature and play you like a fiddle. Do not let yourself get played, seriously.

That '70s Show

Your Friends Defend You More Than You Defend Yourself

Good friends will always stick up for you, but that shouldn't be their full time job whenever they're hanging out with you and your boo. If you've noticed your friends speaking up for you more than you speak up for yourself against your partner, there might be something a little iffy going on there.

Some Girls

You Can't Remember The Last Time You Guys Did Something YOU Wanted To Do

You want to go to the park, but they want to hang out at home. What do you two end up doing? Oh, hanging out at home. You want to go grab Thai food but they want to cop some nachos instead. Well, it looks like you're eating nachos. See where I'm going with this? If you can't remember the last time you (and your partner) went along with your own suggestion about what to do, what to eat, where to go...congrats, you're a pushover.

My Mad Fat Diary

So, are you a pushover? Do you think you have pushover tendencies? Do you have a friend who fits this description perfectly? Tell us in the comments!

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

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