7 Ways To Initiate Sex If You’re A Girl

Dating, when you are a girl, can be hard. This is true in relation to most things–any kind of face-to-face human interaction is difficult, so when you add romantic human interaction into the mix, you can forget about any kind of ease–but it is especially true when it comes to making the first move (whether that means texting first, asking someone out, or going in for a kiss), which many girls feel isn’t their place. This is why I was so drawn to a Reddit thread I found today that, quite frankly, spoke to me. It is below:

Long story short, I met a very hot guy, we have lots of chemistry. The issue is I’m not the casual sex type of girl and I’ve only had sex with one other person but it’s been a while and I am extremely attracted to this guy and just want to pounce on him like there’s no tomorrow. Help me y’all.

I’ve said this before, and I’ll likely say it again, but this time, I mean this with more vigor and gumption than I have ever been able to muster: Who can’t relate! No matter how experienced you may be, sexually, many of people feel anxiety about being the one to initiate sex–especially since it’s something that isn’t considered particularly ladylike or feminine in the traditional sense. (Not that maintaining femininity really matters, of course, but it’s something that tends to feel important for a lot of people.) But it doesn’t have to be this way! Check out these ways for you, a human girl, to let someone know that you really just want to bang:

Don't Be Too Vague

You might be tempted on rely on hints and euphemisms, but, according to a guy, this might not work. Guys are dense! Bigwangbowski said, "Guy here. If this dude is really hot, he may not be a stranger to being propositioned. However, a lot of guys are afraid of reading a signal incorrectly and you may have to be more direct." So, just try to be as straightforward as possible.

Image source: Getty

Let Them Know How Attractive You Think They Are

Compliments go a long way! MangeTout said, "Here's a suggestion. One time I was on a date at a nightclub with this wonderful new girl I had met. After about an hour she leaned over and whispered in my ear, 'You are the sexiest man in this place. Why don't we get out of here?' That's all it took. Men are pretty easy. Don't over complicate this." Obviously, you need to mean what you say, and feel confident about saying it, but if you can think up a good, genuine compliment like this, you can gauge their response to see if they're into having sex, too.

Image source: Getty

Send Them A Picture

One woman said that she let the person she was dating know that she wanted to have sex with them by sending them a picture of herself--just not the type you'd think. WifeOfBatman said, "This dude I met told me he really likes cocoa. So after a few dates I bought his favorite cocoa, took a pic of myself (fully clothed) and the box of cocoa and told him if he'd like to come over for cocoa. He did and knew exactly what was it about. He's my husband now and the love of my life." This is adorable! And, considering that this woman is now married to Batman himself, it seems like it was a good call on her part. A lot of the time, there's no need to beat around the bush. PecanSaladReddit said that, "'Would you like to (insert sexual act here)?' has always worked for me." Simple enough!

Image source: Getty

Invite Them Over For A Movie (Wink Wink)

If you'd like to imply that you want to have sex without explicitly saying that you want to have sex with them, you can always invite them over for a Netflix and Chill-type situation. Coidzor said, "Invite him to your place for dinner and a movie. Bonus points if what you make for dinner is something where you can get hands on together safely while preparing it."  This doesn't mean that you have to have sex once they arrive, of course (you can't do that without straight-up consent!) but most people will understand what "coming over for a movie" really means, so they should be prepared once they arrive.

Image source: Getty

Use Physical Cues

You could also speak...with your body. (Sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to remove it.) Biggiec23 said, "Some guys are just blind. You might have to snuggle a bit and start caressing his leg. If you are cuddling, rub your butt on his crotch. If he still doesn't get it, you might just have go in for the kiss yourself. No shame in being forward!" Obviously this is a case in which you need some consent before moving in for anything, but there's definitely nothing wrong with taking things to the next ~physical~ level if you think they'd be into it.

Image source: Getty

Try To Avoid Excessive Subtlety

A lot of the time, there's no need to beat around the bush. PecanSaladReddit said that, "'Would you like to (insert sexual act here)?' has always worked for me." Simple enough!

Image source: Getty

Just Do It

Just tell them how you feel. BeardsUpThe Wazoo said to say, ""I'm extremely attracted to you. I feel like we have a lot of chemistry." And if he responds favorably initiate physical contact." Basically, if there is one thing to be gleaned from this Reddit thread, it is that if you want to have sex with your partner, you should just let them know. So, uh, do that!

Image source: Getty



What do you think of these tips? Do you have any other ones to share? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

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