We’ve all know the popular refrain about how you should never ditch your friends for a guy, because while dudes come and go, friendship stands the test of time. For the most part, it’s true. Sure, friendships fluctuate all the time, but most of us are in friendships for longer periods of time than romantic relationships, period. The aforementioned saying is as much a dedication to girl power as it is a warning: If you put everything into a relationship and abandon your friends in the process, who will you turn to when that relationship ends? I became aware of the importance of valuing friendships over relationships long before I actually started dating. It’s impossible to watch a TV series or teen movie without that conundrum coming up at some point or another. So you grow up, making an unconscious pact with yourself: You’ll never choose a guy over your friends, ever.
And then real life happens, and you fall for someone, and all you want to do is spend time with them, talk to them, breathe them in like they’re your primary source of oxygen. Needless to say, your friends are left on the back burner while you transform into the heart eyes emoji. You break the pact, and you sort of feel bad about it, but you’re convinced that it’s not all that bad. After all, you still love your friends, and nothing can change that, right?
Well…hopefully. While this happens to the best of us—seriously, nobody is immune—some people are a little more prone to neglecting their friends than others. Yes, even people with the best of intentions. In fact, you might very well be that person, but your friends just haven’t called you out on it yet. If you want to know for sure, check out these seven signs that you choose your boyfriend over your friends way too much. It’s time to face some facts, sis.
You've Ditched Your Friends For Your BF More Than A Few TimesLook, everyone does this okay? Especially when a relationship is in its early stages. You just want to spend as much time with them as possible, so when an opportunity arises to hang out with them instead of your long-term friends, you'll choose them because you figure, hey, you've hung out with your friends plenty of times and you'll hang out with them plenty of times in the future. Just...not tonight. That's fine, until it becomes a habit. One slip up on Snapchat or Instagram and your friends will know that you ditched them to hang out with your boo on the couch. You don't want them to assume that you'll always choose your bae over them, so make sure you avoid doing this too often. And if you do continue to do it, at least spread it out a little more so it doesn't seem like you do it all the damn time. Vivian Girls Vevo
Even Your BF Doesn't Constantly Choose His Friends Over YouThis is a biggie: If you constantly ditch plans with your friends to hang out with your boyfriend, but your boyfriend doesn't ditch plans with his friends to hang out with you...yikes. This means that he might have a better sense of how to split friend time and romance time than you do. It's time for you to make an adjustment. Dazed and Confused
Your Friends Joke Around About How They Never See You AnymoreThey might sound like they aren't bothered, but I can assure you that if they mention it enough, they're low key bothered. They just aren't at the stage yet of straight up telling you that you've chosen your boyfriend over them, and they're hurt about it. Keep an eye (or rather, an ear) out for this, because it's a major sign that your friends feel neglectee. My So-Called Life
You Think It's Cool To Invite Your BF To Your Friend HangoutsLook, sometimes your friends will be cool with this, especially if they're also friendly with your boyfriend. But don't do this too much. If your friend invites you to hang, don't always invite your BF to tag along, because maybe, just maybe, your friends want to see you, not you plus boo. Imagine if you couldn't hang out with one of your friends without her partner tagging along? Annoying, right? Well... Some Girls
You Vent To Your BF, Not Your FriendsIt's natural for your boyfriend to be the primary person you spill your guts to these days, but don't avoid letting your friends in on what's going on in your life. Remember, they have a shoulder to lean on too, and maybe they'll know how to help you even better than your boyfriend does. You wouldn't want to be left out of the loop when it comes to whatever drama is going on in your friend's life, would you? You'd like to think that they can rely on you and trust you to know about what's going in in their life, so treat them the same way you'd want to be treated. That '70s Show
You Only Hang Out With Your Friends If You REALLY Need To These DaysYou're not going to miss your friend's birthday or their play. But everything else is debatable. When you only see your friends on big occasions, you're doing your friendship a huge disservice. Some of the most special parts of a friendship happen at random moments; catching up between classes, gossiping during lunch, etc. You're giving up a lot of those moments that really make your friendship strong when you're only hitting the bare minimum requirements for it. Clueless
You Listen To Your BF More Than Your FriendsLet's say you ask your friend for advice and they give it to you. Then you ask your BF for advice and he gives you totally different advice than your friends. If you're always going with your BF's take than your friends, you've got it twisted. Frankly, your friends could very well be right because they know you better than your boyfriend does. Yes, really. Don't start distrusting their judgment. Heathers
Admit it: Do you do this? If not you, do you have a close friend who does? Tell us in the comments!