18 Jokes You’ll Only Understand If You’ve Ever Masturbated

If you are a person who happens to be alive in the world, chances are good that, at some point, you have masturbated. But, if you are a girl person who is alive in the world and, as a result, has masturbated, chances are also good that you don’t exactly feel comfortable talking about it. Masturbation, while generally accepted as a thing that most guys do, tends to carry a lot of stigma when it comes to girls. Which, frankly, is some BS. Girls are horny too! Girls masturbate!

So, to be clear: Masturbating is normal and fun and healthy and everyone does it. (Well, most people do it. I would never over-generalize, my dear readers!) Anyway, the point is that you shouldn’t ever feel ashamed about masturbating, if that is something that you choose do. Need some proof that masturbating is neither shameful nor embarrassing and, in fact, is something that we should talk about freely? Check out these jokes that you will pretty much only understand if you have ever masturbated before:

1. This pure, glorious face of satisfaction:

https://that-regular-chick.tumblr.com/post/115793420136/rhydonmyhardon-that-is-the-face-of-satisfaction


 

2. This portrayal of your vibrator that, honestly, is FAR too accurate:


 

3. When you finish the deed right before your roommate gets home:

http://makulayculkin.tumblr.com/post/72751206566/aquus-when-you-finish-masturbating-the-second


 

4. And when you’re, uh, not quite as successful:

http://may.tumblr.com/post/125421325873/nicevagina-when-youre-masturbating-in-your


 

5. This perfect antidote for boredom:

http://theshitneyspears.com/post/152843844628/me-at-2-am-im-bored-my-brain-ur-gonna


 

6. This, um, important question:

https://gaypussyretard.tumblr.com/post/164135301459


 

7. This extremely deep observation:

http://rochejii.tumblr.com/post/120120428673/virtual-heroin-queen-of-bakerstreet


 

8. Makes u think:


 

9. Find the lie!


 

10. Hehe:

http://neurosquared.tumblr.com/post/110703025875/bonerfart-i-love-when-religious-dudes-are-like


 

11. I MEAN:

http://best-of-text-posts.tumblr.com/post/94893430605/aangnog-masturbation-is-just-having-sex-with


 

12. This oddly specific gif set that, somehow, perfectly describes you when you masturbate:

http://epic-humor.tumblr.com/post/103679034240/bikinipowerbottom-billiamswheatdown


 

13. This essential invention:

http://geesecalls.tumblr.com/post/107425543791/orghasmic-taking-yourself-to-pound-town-oh


 

14. This joyful look back into history:

http://captainsnoop.tumblr.com/post/81313680328/babyferaligator-the-first-person-that


 

15. The only definition you need for “going HAM:”

http://your-lungs.tumblr.com/post/111046232792/im-about-to-go-ham


 

16. This timeless question:

http://tupacabra.tumblr.com/post/35061337831/should-i-masturbate-now-later-or


 

17. This ACTUAL TIMELESS QUESTION:

http://burningmagnolias.tumblr.com/post/79075897467/jamiejedi-piksies-are-girls-still-pretending


 

18. And, finally…not a joke. But important advice nonetheless!

Do you relate to any of these jokes? Which one is your favorite? Let us know in the comments!

You can reach the author, Sara Hendricks, on Twitter and Instagram.

16 Just Girly Things You Might Actually Be Able To Relate To

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Posted in: For Laughs
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