7 Things You Should Never Do When You’re Breaking Up With Someone

There’s a song from the ’60s called “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do,” and I always figured that that was true: Break ups are super difficult. Friends of mine have broken up with their partners in tears. Others fretted over it for weeks before finally biting the bullet and calling off the relationship. Some broke up only to get back together again a little later…and then broke up again…and then–well, you get the picture. But I also had a friend who recently broke up with her lover-of-the-moment with a simple text essentially telling him to eff off. So…I guess breaking up isn’t always hard to do?

I hope that whatever break ups you experience–including ones you initiate–are as easy and drama-free as possible. With that said, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend breaking up with your boo via text with a snarky one-liner (unless your soon to be ex-boo is really scum of the earth). In fact, I’d include that in this list of seven things you should never do when you’re breaking up with someone. If you’re thinking of ending things with your partner, at least make sure you’re not planning on doing any of these things first.


Plan A Cute Date Just To Break Up

Remember in Legally Blonde when Warner set up some fancy dinner date just to break up with Elle in the middle of it? Yeah, don't do that. It's really unfair and sets your soon to be ex partner up with a false sense of security. Imagine if that happened to you. You might mean well and want to do something nice before you let 'em go, but it's better to be frank and not do anything special.

Legally Blonde

Do It Via Text

Just...no. Seriously, unless this person you're breaking up with is dangerous and being in their presence will cause you physical harm...grow up and break up IRL. This is especially important if you've been dating for a while or if you go to school or work with them and will have to see them all the time anyway. Yes, it's scary, but it'll be a lot more respectful than hittin' 'em with the "I think we should break up. Sorry!" text.

Getty Images

Sleep With Them After The Breakup

Yes, breakup sex is a thing...and a lot of people do it. Of course, most don't plan on it happening, but break ups are emotional and things get messy. But please, keep this in mind so that you can prevent it from happening. When you get the urge to say goodbye all naked, think twice. And then think a third time. And then a fourth.

Freaks and Geeks

Go Into This Uncertain

Do you want to break up or do you just think you want to? If you're not sure, you two need to have a conversation about this without talking about breaking up, because that'll just complicate everything. Have a talk about how your relationship is going, what problems you have with it, etc. Not, "I think I want to break up, but let's talk about these problems and maybe work things out?"

Pretty In Pink

Turn It Into An Ultimatum

Avoid going into your breakup with this sort of mindset: "I want to break up with you, unless you do A, B, and C." You might mean well, but this might not be very effective. First of all, your partner might just say they'll change just to stay with you. Second of all, it implies a sort of uncertainty that you shouldn't have when you actually want to break up.

Some Girls

Do It In Front Of Other People

Listen, please keep this private. You don't want or need an audience for your breakup, so don't do it in a public place, especially around people you know who might even be tempted to get involved if an argument between the two of you breaks out.


Mention The Person You're Leaving Them for

Okay, if you're breaking up with someone to get with someone else...well, that's something you might want to keep to yourself, especially if you were cheating. Don't try to make your ex jealous or something by bragging about how you're leaving their ass for so and so. You're making this way more melodramatic than it needs to be that way. Plus, maybe your new boo doesn't want your partner to know that they were hooking up with you in private. Sometimes, honesty isn't necessarily the best policy.


Have you ever broken up with someone? Tell us in the comments!

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

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