Last weekend, the movie It–an adaptation of the 1986 Stephen King novel of the same title–opened in movie theaters around the world. But, of course, you probably already know this. It did very well, as far as this sort of thing goes, making over $200 million worldwide in its opening weekend and earning the title of the biggest September Monday gross in movie history. Also, did you hear that Pennywise–you know, the horrifying, murderous demon clown from the movie–is a sex symbol now?
Let me back up. I did not see It, so I cannot give an educated statement as to whether or not It deserves all of the money and praise it is receiving, or if Pennywise the clown is, in fact, sexy. But I am a person with a computer, smartphone, and working internet connection, so I know exactly two things about It:
2) It’s not all hype! People really do want to have sex with Pennywise, the clown, from the horror movie It. I know this because, just this very day, I chanced upon a Tumblr account with this URL:
Horrible! Of course, clowns have always had a rich part in the sexual tapestry of America, so nothing about this is particularly shocking. Why, just last year, there were rogue, non-sexy clowns terrorizing college campuses around country, so, in a way, this is progress. And who am I to kink shame? Anyway, you should check out these inappropriate jokes about Pennywise the clown. You’ll probably regret it! But life is meaningless without a little thrill, is it not? See ’em all here:
1. I should mention that Pennywise is played by an actor named Bill Skarsgard, an objectively attractive human man who happens to be but one of many hot Skarsgards:
so this is the man playing pennywise the clown? catch me in the sewer floating sis! pic.twitter.com/a9pIZHvNNd
— dee ? (@hstylegends) September 10, 2017
2. So, for many people, the crush stops there:
Y’all Pennywise is hot and I wanna do it with IT. pic.twitter.com/Xv3QJhGju0
— Anne Krier (@anne_krier) September 10, 2017
3. But, for others, it goes far beyond that:
4. Nothing is sacred:
5. And nothing, it seems, is safe:
6. Not even the OG Pennywise:
i don’t know what y’all are on about, pennywise was always sexy. Look @ that smile pic.twitter.com/m1qPcuS3Jl
— teddy (@SUNLlTYOUTH) September 10, 2017
stan twitter: im gonna fuck the IT clown
— hannah? (@anakinsebs) September 10, 2017
his name is pennywise you uncultured swine at least i know the name of the clown’s dick im boutta succ https://t.co/cA6yFEKHrt
— gay pasta (@sheerIovers) September 11, 2017
you’ve met pennywise now meet his gf, penhoelope pic.twitter.com/VbJ9DanFZj
— edgelord allan poe (@haarleyquin) September 15, 2017
10. Don’t do it!!!
Pennywise: i won’t break your heart
— It (@ItMovieFans) September 14, 2017
11. Why is this…happening?
12. The good news is that Pennywise has found love in the arms of a gay icon, the Babadook:
Pennywise and his boyfriend, The Babadook are off on a date to get crepes and terrorize some kids. pic.twitter.com/eakshrfkN7
— Kumi ? (@kumivenarts) September 12, 2017
13. The bad news is LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE:
14. Do NOT let Pennywise see this!!!
when pennywise hears that people think he’s hot pic.twitter.com/q1vQmLThO1
— vi saw IT ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ (@iIovefinn) September 12, 2017
me, logging into twitter dot com and scrolling past tweets about how hot pennywise is: pic.twitter.com/wW2DIai9iX
— ellen | saw it x3 (@arcadetozier) September 12, 2017
16. Find the lie!!!!
How do these jokes make you feel? How do YOU feel about Pennywise the clown? Let us know in the comments!