7 Common Cunnilingus Fears That You Really Shouldn’t Worry About

It’s pretty common to feel insecure about your body to some degree. Not just your waistline or your thighs or your bust, I’m talking things that the average person won’t see also…like your bits and pieces. And by that I mean your genitals. Whether you have a penis or a vagina or whatever else down there, it’s easy to feel like you don’t match up, like you’re too hairy, like you’re too big in places or too small in others. This can especially be nerve-wracking when it comes to things like oral sex, when your partner has to really get up close and personal with whatever you’ve got going on down there. People with penises can obviously feel self-conscious about the state of their junk during a blow job, but I have a feeling that people with vaginas are more likely to be self-conscious about their bits during cunnilingus.

Why? Well, let’s be real: A blow job is seen as a lot more run of the mill than cunnilingus is. Plus, blow jobs are less, er, invasive than cunnilingus is. Also, vaginas are approached with a lot more mystery than penises are, which inherently makes cunnilingus more rebellious, sexual, and borderline deviant if you ask the right person. Combine that, with general cluelessness about vaginas and living in a society that subtly or not-so-subtly tells you that your vagina is both sacred yet dirty…and you have a whole slew of people with vaginas who feel super uncomfortable about cunnilingus. Like, to the point of turning it down entirely because the very thought of it is too awkward to imagine. Look, it’s understandable to be nervous about having someone’s tongue all up in your vagina, but I assure you that you deserve to enjoy the experience without being worrying about these seven common cunnilingus fears. Yes, it might take some time, but I promise you that you’re mostly worrying over nothing. Read on to see why.


Tasting Good Down There

Penises don't taste like lollipops, and your vagina doesn't taste like a nectarine. You taste like...fluids. Salty, maybe a little musky, maybe a little sweet, but certainly not like honey. Nobody's vagina tastes like honey, and unless your partner is an idiot, they'll know that. Don't sweat it. You might not taste great, but your partner isn't putting their mouth on your vagina because it tastes good, remember that.

Girls

Vaginal Discharge

I think this is one of the biggest fears about cunnilingus that nobody wants to own up to. So, here's the thing: Chances are unless your partner has a vagina themselves, they won't be able to differentiate between you being wet because you're turned on or you being wet because you're just experiencing run of the mill vaginal discharge. But besides that, it takes just a few seconds to excuse yourself to "freshen up" if you just want to clean up a bit down there before getting down to business.

Seinfeld

Not Getting Off In, Like, Three Minutes

Honestly, it can take a while to have an orgasm via cunnilingus. So you're not a weirdo if it's taking a while for things to get going down there. Plus, it might feel like it's taking forever on your end if you're fretting about taking too long; it might not be as long as you think, and maybe your partner doesn't mind. I mean, they could very well have the endurance to go on for ages without a break in the hopes of getting you off. If your partner is tired, they'll likely take a break before getting back to business. Don't feel guilty, they signed up for this! But if you want to speed things along, incorporate things you know will help get you off; maybe that means using your fingers or a sex toy; whatever! Alternate between the two until you figure out what works.

Chapelle's Show

Having Pubic Hair

Logistically, it's easy to get to all the nooks and crannies of your vag--and other other private parts--without a bunch of hair in the way. Hair can just feel weird on the tongue, quite frankly, and not everyone enjoys it; there are plenty of people who don't like to perform a blowjob on somebody who has jungle pubes. But everyone is different, so don't assume that your partner will be turned off by oral just because you aren't bare like a Barbie down there. Plenty of people don't care or will at least sacrifice their preferences to make sure you enjoy yourself. If your partner prefers to perform oral with less hair, take that into consideration, but only do what you're comfortable with. Be wary of partners who refuse to do anything sexual with you if you have pubes though; they need to grow the hell up.

Getty Images

Hurting Your Partner's Feelings If Something Doesn't Feel Right

Look, you could have a very dedicated partner who really wants to perform oral sex on you...and they could still need a little nudge in the right direction. Be gentle but firm about what feels good and what doesn't. If your partner is obsessed with, like, tonguing your labia and you really aren't getting anything out of that, gently direct them (verbally or physically) toward your clitoris or something. If your partner is a good sport, they won't be offended. Chances are they'll be happier that they're actually pleasing you.

Skins

Having Good Rhythm

You really don't need to worry about staying in sync with your partner when it comes to cunnilingus. Let your partner figure it out and just enjoy the ride. Don't get caught up on doing too much hip movements or anything like that; chill and enjoy yourself. This isn't a porno, okay?

Some Girls

Feeling Required To Love Every Minute Of It

People talk about cunnilingus as if it's the best thing on the planet. To some, it might be. To others, well, it just doesn't do it for them. Maybe your partner isn't great at it; that's what your friends will suggest if you reveal this little confession. But maybe it isn't them, it's just you. You aren't required to love receiving oral sex. But don't be opposed to trying it in different positions to see if you enjoy it better in another way, or incorporating toys into the mix. Experiment! But don't feel required to enjoy it; you're a human, not a sex machine.

American Pie

What cunnilingus fears have you gotten over? Tell us in the comments!

You can follow the author, Ashley Reese, on Twitter or Instagram. Don’t worry, she doesn’t bite!

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