At some point, you come to the realization that you can’t get what you want by being a passive actor in this effed up game called life. Sometimes–preferably often–you have to take life by the horns, carve out your own destiny, take matters into your own hands, make things happen. That might mean applying for that internship you’re convinced you’ll never get, speaking up in class when someone says something that you disagree with, or mustering up the courage to finally talk to your crush instead of just hoping that they’ll make a move on you first. Naw, those days of just waiting around for someone you like to magically realize that you’re totally worth dating are over. Don’t wait for someone to approach you; approach them.
Of course, this is easier said than done. If you don’t know your crush all that well, approaching them or chatting them up out of nowhere can sound like the scariest thing on earth. And if you do know your crush already–maybe, you’re even friends with them–it can be hard to give off I-like-you-as-more-than-a-friend vibes without laying it on too thick or being way too subtle. Luckily, there are some things you can, and should, do around your crush that’ll put you on their radar in a good way, no matter what your current relationship with them is like. Look over these seven things you should always do when you’re talking to your crush IRL, and prosper, sis.
Maintain Eye ContactDon't take this advice for granted: This is such an important tool to making sure someone you're talking to knows that you're engaged in your conversation and you actually give a damn about what they have to say. It might seem more chill and casual to strike up a conversation while you pretend to be distracted by your phone or something, but this will just make you look a little too casual. They won't know that you're lowkey trying to make a move if you barely even take the time to look them in the eye. Besides! Eye contact is super alluring and can have romantic implications. In short, eye contact is pretty sexy. Use it to your advantage. YouTube/Cherry Glazerr
Actually Know What You're Going To Talk AboutOf course, once you get the conversation going you probably won't have to choose a topic to discuss from your selected list of appropriate subject matter, but have something in mind when you start chatting them up. Are you in class? Ask about the reading, or moan about the upcoming exam; everyone likes to commiserate about something, and it's a good way to ease into a conversation. Maybe you know they're into basketball, like you; ask them if they caught the game last night. If you know your crush is into, say, Kendrick Lamar and he just dropped a new single, ask what their hot take is. Talking about anything you two have a shared interest in, go for it. It might sound like doing the absolute most to have a set of talking points ready to go, but trust me, it beats going in blind with a single, "hey" and nothing to follow up with. Don't try to search for what to talk about as you're trying to chat up your crush! Unless they save you from the awkwardness, you'll just feel embarrassed. Skins
Mention Something They Talked About In A Previous ConversationIt's the little things that leave an impression, and this is one of them: Mention something they've discussed or referenced in a previous conversation you two had. Maybe they mentioned that they have a soft spot for Haim or that their favorite food is curly fries. Hey, find a way to slip these little factoids into your conversation. Maybe you, I don't know, conveniently copped some curly fries at lunch and you have leftovers. Want to share? Maybe you heard that Haim was having a concert next month; this is your chance to bring it up. Prefacing these references with something casual like, "Oh, yeah, I remember you mentioned being into Haim, right?" Your crush will be at least mildly impressed that you remembered a little factoid about them. Freaks and Geeks
Add A Little Physical Contact Into The MixDon't overdo it, but a little arm grab or briefly resting your head against their shoulder really sets off some signals. This is especially important if your crush happens to be a friend of yours; this will hint that you like them as more than just a friend. But a word of caution: If your crush seems to recoil or stiffen at your touch and starts to act a little uncomfortable, that might be their signal to you that they're just not into you like that. Take heed, please. Otherwise, you could end up in an embarrassing scenario in which your crush curves you a little more frankly. Pariah
Ask Them Questions About ThemselvesWhen you're nervously talking to your crush, it can be easy to get caught rambling...often about yourself. Refrain from doing that by asking them questions about themselves. You'll get to know more about them and it makes it clear that you're curious about them. But heads up: Don't just ask them questions like you're in some kind of interrogation. Approach these questions as conversation launch pads. Pretty In Pink
Let Them Know You'll Catch 'Em LaterA simple, "see you around" or "I'll catch you tomorrow in history class" can do a lot to leave a little impression in your crush's mind. This shows that you're interested in maintaining some kind of camaraderie, that you're looking forward to being in their presence again. It's the little things like this that can make a difference. South of Nowhere
Suggest That You Two Chill SometimeDon't panic: You don't have to ask them to chill one-on-one just yet if you're not ready. You can invite them to hang with your friends that weekend or invite them to your study group for pre-calc. That way, it won't look like you're asking your crush out on a date (yet). But if you do want to imply some one-on-one time, vaguely suggest hanging out sometime soon. Will you hang out after class that day? Maybe not, but it'll plant the idea in their head, and hopefully it'll stick. Some Girls
What do you usually try to talk about when you’re around your crush? Tell us in the comments!