How Long Should You Wait To Ask Someone Out After They’ve Been Dumped?

Hi Heather,

How long should you wait before asking someone out after they’ve been broken up with? My guy friend recently got dumped and I’ve had a crush on him forever. I want to ask him out but I don’t want to be a rebound. But I also don’t want to miss my chance! What should I do?


It can be tough to figure out when you should ask someone out after they’ve gotten out of a relationship, especially if that person is a friend. You don’t want to do it too quickly and seem like you’ve been waiting for your moment forever, but you also don’t want to put it off for so long that they end up meeting someone else. So how do you know the perfect timing?

Honestly, there’s no straight answer here – it depends on the person, the relationship they were in, and how they feel about you. If your guy friend was with his ex for a few months and things weren’t serious, you can wait about two weeks, get an idea of how he’s feeling, and then make a move. If he was with his ex for years, was very serious with her, and seems devastated, you may have to wait a while.

Something that will help you is paying attention to how he is. Try to talk to him and spend some time with him. Does he seem really sad and miserable? He’s probably not ready for anything else. Does he seem ready to get back out there and excited to be single? Then that’s good for you! Of course, some people seem totally fine on the outside, and they’re secretly miserable. So, that being said, on to the next tip!

You should also communicate with this guy. If he seems okay, then wait for a moment where it feels right, and start flirting a little bit. See how he reacts to it. If he’s into it and seems fine, great! If he puts out vibes of not being interested, maybe back off. And if he’s overly into it, like latching onto you, you should also back off –  that could be a sign that he’s looking for a rebound, whether intentional or not.

In general, I would say wait a few weeks if their relationship was a few months long, wait at least a month if it was serious. But, again, pay attention to his vibes!

Good luck!

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