The saying goes that “no one is perfect” – and while that’s true, it doesn’t mean you have to subject yourself to the bottom of the barrel to find a boyfriend either. The guy you’re dating may forget to brush his teeth five days out of the week and might not get along very well with your family, but that doesn’t mean he’s a bad boyfriend; just that he has some areas to improve in. Like we said, no one is perfect, right?
BUT… and this is a big but: that doesn’t mean he can treat you like dirt. Call you names. Forget your birthday. Belittle you in front of your friends and then make you feel like it’s your fault he’s being a wad of dicks. Prince Charming does not exist in real life, but that doesn’t mean you have to subject yourself to dating Jafar instead.
If you find yourself avoiding your boyfriend or trying to consistently flake on plans, it’s a sign that your relationship might be over. Why force yourself to sunbathe on the deck of a sinking ship when you could just jump overboard and swim to freedom? Why not upgrade to getting a nice tan on a tropical island instead? Consider this your wake-up call to whether or not it’s time to start backstroking that half mile to freedom. Here are a few signs you do way better than your current boyfriend:
Everyone You’ve Introduced Him To Hates HimI’m not talking about how your one friend Katie thinks he’s too ugly for you; I’m talking about how literally every single person in your network thinks he is trash. Your family, your friends, random strangers you meet on the street, any pets you might have – even his friends are like “Girl... why are you dating him?” If the people you value most in your life can’t find any redeeming qualities about him, then take it as a sign that you’re ignoring a bunch of red flags just because you like him. Liking him isn’t a good enough reason to be with him; I like eating cheeseburgers from Five Guys, but I’m fully aware that eating there five days a week will likely kill me. Same goes for men: logic needs to trump emotion, especially if everyone in your life are warning you to run away while you still can. Source: iStock
You Find Yourself Making Up Excuses For Him ConstantlyI remember several months ago when my friend sent me a screenshot of my now-ex’s Bumble profile while we were still together. “That’s probably from before we were together” I reasoned with her, even though I knew fully well that we had started dating before Bumble even existed. I even remember bringing him to meet up with old friends for happy hour one evening, where he threw a fit because we didn’t go to the bar HE wanted to go to and promptly left to go meet up with his friends elsewhere. “He’s in a bad mood, his day wasn’t so hot,” was the excuse I gave that day. If your man can’t act like an adult and you find yourself having to make up stories to justify his horrid behavior, believe me when I say you can do better. So, SO much better. Source: iStock
You Avoid Spending One-On-One Time With HimYour boyfriend may be a big charmer in groups, but when it comes to one-on-one time you’d rather be getting a root canal. Whether it’s because he thinks a fun way to spend time is to be annoying, play video games while you watch or simply ignore you (which begs the question as to WHY he invited you over in the first place…men are so dumb), trust me: he is a waste of space. There are millions of guys out there who not only share your interests, but who won’t spend your one-on-one dinner date talking solely about himself and his life and nothing else. Source: iStock
When You Argue It Turns Into The 'HIM' ShowEver had an argument with your boyfriend about how he messed something up, only to have him circle back to something completely irrelevant to the situation at hand where he makes himself out to be the victim? Example: you’re arguing about how he forgot your birthday, to which his response was “Well what did you do for MY birthday last year, huh?? All you got me was a gift I don’t remember you doing anything special!!” Bro – we’re not talking about your birthday, we’re talking about how you forgot MY birthday. Notice how in the example he turned the birthday gift you got him into something bad, thereby making himself the victim when the whole POINT of the argument is that he ruined your special day. If this is how your boyfriend argues, don’t fall for his tricks – if you point out that he’s playing the victim and he apologizes, fine. But if you point it out and he starts acting even more immature than before, hell to the no. Being able to have mature arguments where people are able to admit their own faults is an important part of any relationship, and if he can’t handle that then go and find yourself someone who can. Source: iStock
Holy Gaslighting Batman!“Gaslighting” is where you lie to someone with the intent of making them question their sanity. My ex used to insist he didn’t have a crush on his old flame, and when I confronted him by saying that his Internet browser history was chock full of pages on pages of him scrolling through her Facebook photos, he tried to tell me that I was making it up and he hadn’t looked at her Facebook in months. But…I saw his history. I knew he was doing it, yet because I liked him (again, let me emphasize that just because you like someone does not mean they aren’t a dumpster fire of a human being) I said to myself that maybe I was wrong. I wasn’t, and I knew I wasn’t – yet there I was, rationalizing it away. If you 100% know something to be true and you catch your boyfriend trying to convince you otherwise just to get out of trouble, kick him to the curb. You don’t need that sort of manipulative bullshit in your life, nor do you need anyone making you question your own sanity just to save their own skin. Source: iStock
He Doesn’t Stick Up For YouWhen you’re hanging out with your boyfriend and his guy friends, does he ever make you the butt of his jokes? Or do you see his friends making fun of you, only to have your boyfriend laugh along without even a pathetic “Hey that’s not funny” thrown somewhere in the mix? A joke at someone’s expense every now and then is ok, but when it’s happening constantly and he does nothing to stand up for you, that’s not “bro talk” – that’s being a douchebag. And if he won’t stick up for you to your face, what do you think is happening behind your back? Source: iStock
When He’s In A Bad Mood He Takes It Out On YouI’m not talking about how he had a bad day and is kind of moody, I’m talking about how he had a bad day and is picking fights, yelling at you for small things that aren’t your fault and being a general ass to you when you’ve done nothing wrong. Point out any of these things and he gets even more mad rather than apologizing to you and seeing the error of his ways. Not only is this horrible to deal with, it’s immature as hell – ask yourself this: Do you want to date a baby who throws tantrums when life doesn’t go his way, or do you want to date an adult who knows how to handle his own problems? I think we both know the answer. Source: iStock
Do you think you could do better than your boyfriend? Let us know in the comments.