It’s always sad to say goodbye to summer, but I do have to admit that there actually are some good things about being done with the season. I can hear you shouting at your computer, “Are you crazy?! Why would you want to say goodbye to nice weather, no school, and shorts season?” I’m not talking about those things. I’m talking about overplayed trends—and 2017 had a lot of them.
You might have started out loving them in May. Most of us did. Then as the weeks passed, they grew and grew, and so did our love for them. Then around July, we suddenly decided that we had reached peak whatever. However, the world didn’t and we had to put up with the trends being shoved in our faces for another four weeks. We sat quietly and dealt with it, but now that we’re into September we’re putting our feet down and saying that’s enough. Take a look at 16 things we need to leave behind in summer 2017 and move onto some new, fresh ideas.
1. Fidget Spinners
Let’s just get this one over and done with so we don’t have to talk about it anymore, okay? Fidget spinners became an obsession for whatever reason and spawned even weirder reasons. Let’s leave all the fidget finger gadgets alone and try to go back to a time where we didn’t use our fingers to twirl random objects. Remember when we were sensible people and used them for texting.
2. Glitter Butts
Glitter butt started with Glastonbury and just continued to grow with shorts and bikini season. People couldn’t handle glitter roots and glitter armpits because they would be itchy AF. So, can you imagine what glitter butt would feel like? Can you imagine getting all of that glitter out? Yeah, that’s why this one needs to be left behind. Argh, you know what I mean.
3. Tampon Nails
I’m all for being talking about tampons and periods instead of feeling shamed about them and pretending they don’t exist. But do we really need tampon nails to continue into the fall, winter, and even next spring to help with this? Let’s let them remain as one of the most unique trends of Summer 2017.
No offense to Ariel and all of the other mermaids, but we need a break from you. There is just too much mermaid happening right now. Mermaids have become what vampires became in 2011. And everyone knows how even we need a cooling off from them. Mermaid hair, mermaid glasses, mermaid nail polishes: you’re all fun, but we want to see a little more brand creativity.
Controversial, I know. But, I’m saying this with our best interests at heart. Let’s leave “Despacito” in the good days of July so it can remain the ultimate song of Summer 2017. So, in Summer 2020, we can hear it on the radio and remember the #goodtimes we had in 2017. Let’s not make it like “Blurred Lines” and “Get Lucky” where just a few beats have us cringing because they. were. so. overplayed.
6. Vagina Makeup
Makeup that is shaped like a vagina? That can get a pass. But makeup that is meant for your vag? Yeah, that needs to remain fixed to a time period. We don’t want vagina makeup becoming a regular thing, do we? Imagine if vagina makeup would be as varied as nail polish colors. That would be way too much.
See the explanation of the mermaid trend for reasons why we need to give unicorn a break ASAP. In fact, we just need to cool it with all the mythical creatures for a while. Unicorns are magical and all, but they don’t become magical when we see them everywhere we look. They’re all over Instagram. They’re all over our hair. And they’re even in the fruit aisle. Unicorns are supposed to be rare, so let’s try and get back to that.
8. Watermelon Videos
Summer is supposed to be the season of watermelons but it went a bit too far in 2017. The watermelon dress trend was fun, but suddenly we had 10,000 videos of people cutting and slicing watermelons. Then it seemed like there weren’t any watermelons left at the store because everyone was buying them just to cut them up all fancy for Snapchat.
9. Dude Rompers
I’m all for guys wearing whatever they like, but sometimes it takes a few tweaks to get a trend right. And guy rompers aren’t at the “right” stage yet. Girls had the clear-knee jeans at the beginning of the year that proved divisive and guys had dude rompers/man rompers/romphims in the summer. Let’s leave this one be for a while and maybe the fashion designers can prove us wrong during Summer 2025, or whenever.
10. Underboob Trend
If you feel confident showing off your underboob, I salute you. Given that the trend is very difficult to master without copious amounts of body tape and/or showing a nipple and the temperatures are going to start plunging, I’m going to suggest that we reserve this one for Summer 2017 only.
11. “The Floor Is” Meme
There are so many memes floating around that we really don’t need one to last beyond a season. Frankly, if a meme lasts beyond a month or even a week, it’s shocking. In case you forgot, “The Floor Is” meme involved either thinking the floor was something really bad that you didn’t want to touch, i.e. lava. Or, you would think it’s something really awesome, and want to be all over it. No matter what way your meme went, let’s leave it as something that gets accidentally reblogged on Tumblr and focus on inventing something new.
12. Fanny Packs
Backpacks had their time, so it makes sense that we brought back fanny packs for Summer 2017. However, I think that the few months of summer were enough time to rock yo’ fanny pack. TBT, a fanny pack just doesn’t work when it’s not festival season. And even then it’s questionable.
13. Colored Highlighter
Remember when highlighter used to be an ivory shade that you applied to your cheekbones and were done with it? Then it suddenly became a thing where were need 15 different colors and an application that takes 10 minutes to get it right. And are yellow and black highlighters really what we want to be putting on our skin?
14. Anal Botox
You might not believe this one, but we wrote about it in June 2017 as being a trend. If you missed the memo on it, it basically involves getting Botox back there to lift and tighten your butthole. Yes, you read that right. It’s apparently designed for people who have been having a lot of anal sex and *stretched out* their buttholes. Given that it’s expensive, probably hurts like a mother, and is totally, completely unnecessary (your butthole is fine!) let’s just forget about this one now.
15. Bare Bum Jeans
This inexplicably became a thing when Vetements and Levi’s teased a very cheeky pair of jeans online. Then the high street began to send out its versions. To prevent any more weird tan lines and to stop people’s tushies from freezing, let’s kill this one now that we’re into September.
16. Glitter Tongues
This one might have started to go viral in the last few days of August, but I think it’s wise if we get a hold of it now. Do we want everyone putting non-edible glitter in their mouths for the sake of an Instagram photo? Do we want to see our Instagrams littered with tongues hanging out of people’s mouths, even if they are covered in glitter? I say we leave this as the trend that closed Summer 2017.
What other trends do you think need to stay in Summer 2017? Let us know in the comments!
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