Pinterest, if you are somehow unfamiliar, is a fairly useful website. (You know, as far as those things go.) It is useful for studying, it is useful for organization, it is useful for finding recipes, and it is useful for learning how to be a “hoe,” if you are into that kind of thing. One thing it is not so great for? Anything relating to the human body. Sure, some of the makeup and workout advice can be good, but anything relating directly to the function of the human body–you know, those strange recipes for drinks or tonics that are supposed to clear your skin, increase bowel movements, and promote faster hair growth all in one–are generally things that one should avoid.
This, of course, is what brings us to the sex tips. Just as there is a lot of weird vagina advice on Pinterest, there is also a concerning amount of, uh, questionable sex advice to be found. All of which are certainly fun to look at, but are not so fun to actually do, given that many of them could very well result in bodily injury or harm. So, check out these sex tips from Pinterest that you should (probably) never try:
1. First, here is a sexualized minion with some confusing advice:
2. This seems like a dangerous promise to make!
Thanks for nothing, “Kinky Quotes!”
3. If you are hooking up with someone, and they start to lick your armpits without consent……..run:
Not weird if you’re both into it and have discussed it! Definitely weird if there’s no prior warning.
4. Don’t…do this:
Your vagina smells FINE. I promise. (Also, none of these things are going to make it smell any “better,” or even different.)
5. Ah, yes. “4 and 2,” otherwise known as “massage ears.” Sensual!
Also…don’t call them “privates.” It’s ambiguous and weird!
6. You are free to bite your partner’s lips, of course. But please don’t do it like…this…
It looks painful!
7. This is…not true:
Like, omega-3 isn’t bad for you. But it’s not going to turn your sex life around, either.
8. Um. Don’t do this, please:
I have not done it, personally, but I know it is not good for you!
Sounds a little (a lot) rapey, but okay.
Can some women do this? Sure, maybe. But, uh, it’s definitely not the norm.
11. Sounds a little specific, but sure!
Like, specific to this one person’s individual experience.
This could mean….so many other things. But, uh, sure.
13. Don’t bring wolves into this, please:
Now everything is weird!!!
What do you think of these tips? Would you ever actually try any of them? Let us know in the comments!