9 Signs You’re Not Actually Ready For A Relationship

It can sometimes seem like half of our teenage years are spent thinking we’re ready to do something and having others (ahem, teachers and parents) trying to tell us that we’re not. Staying out late and going on that weekend trip that everyone is going on seem to be the things that we argue the most with them. But, there are other times where we have to take a good hard look at ourselves and decide whether we are really ready for something. And a lot of those times involve relationships.

You might have parents or know friend’s parents who say that their kids cannot date until they’re 16, 18, 45, 102, or whatever. While the rule might be good for parentals, the reality is that there really is no age when someone is ready for a relationship. It all depends on the individual and the current circumstances in their lives. And it can change from one year to the next. Heck, it can change from one day to the next.

That’s why you need to take an honest look at your life to decide whether you’re in the right place before you engage in a relationship. Because if you’re not, it’s not going to be good for you, bae, or the longevity of your relationship. And you know what? There’s nothing wrong with realizing that you’re not ready for a relationship. Being honest with yourself about it will actually only benefit youTake a look at nine things that can help you decide whether you’re ready for a relationship or not.


You Feel Pressured

Do you feel pressured to be in a relationship? The pressure could be coming from a lot of different sources. It could be coming from your friends, sisters, random strangers, TV, parents, or even your crush. And of course it could be coming from yourself. No matter where the pressure is coming from, it's not the best thing to give into it. A relationship that is built on pressure will just lead to negative feelings later. And it's already not starting off right because relationships should be started because you want to start them. They should be based on mutual love and be about the other person in the relationship—not anyone else.

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You Hate Being Single

Being single can be freakin' awesome. And sometimes it can be annoying. You know what? It's the same deal with relationships. Getting into a relationship just because you *hate* the idea of being single actually doesn't solve anything. If you actually despise being single that much, you need to take a look at what's going in your life and/or mind to try and figure out why. Jumping into a relationship just so you can be with someone is really just masking the issue temporarily.

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You're Already Stressed About Life

Relationships can be amazing things. However, they can also be stressful AF. And even the good ones can be stressful. It's just like any relationship. If you're already feeling overwhelming about everything that is happening into your life, throwing a new relationship into the mix probably isn't the best idea. Chances are it will make you more stressed that you don't have the time to commit to your relationship you want. And that can make all of the areas of your life suffer.

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You're Super Curious To Know What It's Like

The majority of things in life need to be experienced before you can truly understand them. Is that a reason to jump into a relationship just so you can know what it's like? Most of us would say probably not. It's worth waiting until you have feelings for someone. Trying to tick this one off on your life's goal list just because doesn't work.

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You Do Not Love Yourself

Do not click to the next slide just yet. I know you might have cringed when you saw the title and thought that I've become all cheesy on you. I know it might sound that way when you need it, but it's true. If you do not love yourself, how can you expect to love someone else? It's important to focus on yourself, and be comfortable with who you are before you can really focus on someone else.

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You Want To Be In A Relationship Because Everyone Else Is

Did you want rainbow hair when everyone else got rainbow hair? And did you run out and buy white sneakers because everyone else did? Now, you might be experiencing the same feelings because your friends are in relationships. Hold up there, girl, because a relationship is not a trend. It's about people's feelings. And trying to get into a relationship just because your friends are doing it is not the best foundation for any relationship.

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You Don't Really Know What You Like

Have you ever really stopped and thought why you want to be in a relationship? Do you have any goals or ideas about it? And I don't just mean #relationshipgoals. If you don't have any definitive goals about what you want, or you deem them too silly to admit to bae, maybe you will want to assess your priorities.

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You Keep Thinking About An Old Flame

Is there an ex or an unrequited love who you just can't seem to get out of your mind? I'm going to stop you right here. I know the feelings you're going through suck, but trying to bring a new love into your life when you're dealing with them isn't going to work. You have to work through the other feelings before you will be able to commit to another relationship. You can't *replace* one relationship with another and think everyone will be okay.

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You Like The Idea Of A Relationship

Do you love the idea of relationships? Do you daydream about all of the #relationshipgoals tags you could be using? And do you want a SO who you can snuggle with while watching Netflix? If you find that your relationship ideas focus on an ideal rather than a specific person you have feelings for, you will want to assess things before jumping into anything. Why? Relationships are not like the ideas we have in our heads. IRL, relationships are messy, complicated, confusing, and they take a lot of work.

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Do you think you’re ready for a relationship? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.

 

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