Can we talk about how weird and gendered the concept of “making the first move” is? Thanks to centuries-long traditions of courting and other similar practices, we’ve been socialized to expect men to always make the first move when they’re approaching a woman. The guy initiates the flirting, the guy initiates the exchange of numbers, the guy sets up the first date, etc. Meanwhile, women are just kind of…there. Like empty vessels waiting for sufficient amounts of flattery that we’ll either accept or reject. And when a woman doesn’t fit that role, when she’s assertive and approaches a guy, prompts all those advances, she’s depicted as either some sort of sex goddess or a total anomaly, especially in TV shows and movies.
Can we chill, please? We really need to stop with this idea that a girl making the first move is some extraordinary act that only super extroverted vixens are suited for. I made the first move on my current boyfriend, and while I’m not exactly shy, I’m definitely not some sort of man eater or an expert in how to snatch a guy. I’d literally only been on one date and kissed exactly one guy when I slid into my boyfriend’s DMs, and it wasn’t that scary nor or particularly brave. Don’t wait around for guys to ask you out when you’re interested in someone and want to see if you have a shot; be a go getter and initiate on your own. It’s a lot easier than you’d think, I promise. If you’re skeptical, check out these seven ways to make the first move that aren’t weird at all. It’s time to take matters into your own hands, sis.
Asking For Their Number And/Or Social Media HandleWhether you initiate the conversation or they do, you can seal the deal by being the first one to ask for their number or social media handle so you two can keep in touch. If you two have been hitting it off, I assure you that this crush of yours will really love that you were so direct about remaining in touch. It won't come across as weird or awkward if you two have been having a good conversation, so bite the bullet and do it so that they won't get away! Bye Bye Birdie
Asking Them To DanceSure, this won't work for everyone you're trying to hit up, but it's a cute, playful gesture that shows that you're interested in some sort of romantic capacity. Just remember: If they reject that dance, that doesn't mean they're not into you! Some people are just really nervous on the dancefloor. Keep engaging them in conversation and see if they're still interested in interacting before writing them off completely. Clueless
Light TouchesA quick squeeze or a lingering hug is a big sign that you're interested, and if your crush is interested in response, they won't flinch or move away. It's a little bold, but it's not exactly weird. That '70s Show
Text Or Message FirstI'm a huge fan of messaging your crush first, especially on dating apps where it's so often dudes who are expected to jot out the first message. Here's what I did: I saw that I had a similar taste in music as the dude (my future BF) I stumbled upon on my dating app of choice. I simply...messaged him about it. Dassit. And guess what? He replied, we talked about music, and the rest is history. Don't pass up opportunities like this out of fear, okay? Insecure
Talk About Something You KNOW You Two Have In CommonIf you two are both into Tame Impala, talk about it. You've got this, okay? Everyone loves talking about something they're interested in, and it'll be a nice ice breaker that won't come across as weird or trying too hard. Pariah
Use A Flirty Smile And A Little Eye ContactYo, you'd be surprised by how intense and intimate a simple smile and some eye contact can be. This is the simplest way to make a move, and it's also one of the safest because you'll know that they're interested based on how they respond from afar. Skins
Talk To Them Solo, Not Via A FriendOkay, I promise you: It's not as weird or awkward as you think to approach someone. But here's what IS awkward: Having your friend tell your crush that you're into them. Listen, you're not nine-years-old anymore. Your friends are not your sexy times ambassadors. Grow up and roll up to your crush yourself and start chatting them up. You'll figure out soon enough if they're interested. The To Do List
Have you ever made the first move? If not, would you? Why or why not? Tell us in the comments!