How To Become More “Girly” If You’re A Tomboy

Hi Heather,

I’m a total tomboy and I’m happy with the way I am. However, I’ve recently been feeling jealous of my girlier friends who do such a great job with their makeup and hair and always look and smell nice. I want to learn how to be more feminine, but I have no idea where to start. I don’t want to lose my tomboy roots, but I’d love to find a way to be both. How do I become more girly without changing completely?


Okay, honestly, I love this question. It’s an important reminder that you don’t need to fit into a little box as a person. You can be a tomboy and you can love makeup and feminine clothes and getting your hair done all at the same time! It’s great that you want to kind of expand your horizon and try some new things with your look – and it’s awesome that you know you’re not interested in trying to change your personality.

Becoming more “feminine” in a traditional way can mean different things to different people – and there’s a lot that goes into it. So, for right now I’ll focus on the stuff you asked about: hair, makeup, dressing nicely, smelling nicely. It’s easy to try out new things within these topics and just requires a little time and money. It’s also easy to try out new stuff here and still be yourself. I feel like an authority on this topic because I am a “traditional girly-girl” and I once gave these lessons to my little sister, which is a story for another time.

Makeup stuff: Okay, so you want to start wearing makeup. Great! There is A LOT of makeup out there, so for newbies, I always suggest sticking to the basics and only using what you’re comfortable with. Also, have fun with it! Makeup is so much fun and I don’t think it should be taken too seriously. The products you should use will depend on what you want. Do you want to start wearing makeup on a daily basis, or do you want to wear it just for more special occasions? Find a happy middle, then head to the store.

makeup gif

Going to a place like Sephora will be super helpful because the employees there are trained to help you find products that are right for you and they’ll spend time with you to do this. Unfortunately, Sephora can also be pricey. If you want to keep things cheaper, I always suggest Target or Ulta – both have great selections – but you could also do any drug store, like CVS or Wal-Mart. Then stick to the basics. Find a foundation that matches your skin color, a concealer, and a pretty blush. For eyes, pick out a few eye shadow colors or a palette in neutral shades you like that are easy to work with. You should also pick up a mascara. From there, go home and watch lots of YouTube tutorials! They’ll teach you everything.

Hair stuff: Start trying some different hair styles. Pinterest is full of ideas, but, ahem, so is You can either try blowing out your hair or you can do something like a simple braid. If you always wear it in a ponytail, wear it down. If you always have it in a bun, try a half up style. You don’t need to go crazy and try something with a million different steps – sometimes just a simple change is enough.

Dressing nicely: You don’t need an entire wardrobe transformation to start dressing nicely. Sometimes all you need to do is make a few tweaks. Like, if you love wearing jeans and a tee, try swapping your sneakers for ankle boots. If you hate dresses but need to look fancier sometimes, find a chic jumpsuit. It’s hard to give this kind of advice, honestly, because it depends on your style and what you like to wear. I like to look on Instagram, Pinterest, and in magazines at outfits for inspiration. My suggestion? Find a friend who has style you like, and ask her to go shopping with you. She can help you pick some stuff out.

As for smelling nice? Go perfume shopping! Find the scent you love and spritz it on every morning. And, of course, shower regularly, but I’m sure you knew that.

Honestly, asking friends for advice and help is your best bet here. There are no strict rules to follow to be more feminine. Do what you feel comfortable with and try out some new styles. If it’s not fun, don’t do it!

Good luck!

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