Nobody likes to be rejected, but I think that we have a tendency to expect rejection from our crushes to manifest as some sort of explosive, awkward event. Like, your crush straight up curving you in public after you ask them out, or your crush telling you that you’re just not their type, or your crush telling you to stop texting them or something. But let’s calm down with the dramatics for a second, shall we? Not all rejection is so intense. A lot of rejection is pretty low key because, for the most part, your crush doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, even if they don’t like you back. So they’ll find other ways to try to get the hint across that they’re not interested, instead of being direct.
Annoying, I know, but don’t act like you wouldn’t do the same thing.
If you’re trying to make some moves on your crush, hey, more power to you. It’s really brave to initiate with your crush, especially if you two aren’t already friends. But none of us at Gurl want you to be strung along and hopeful about something that ain’t gonna happen. Check out these seven subtle signs that your crush just isn’t that into you.
You're Usually Initiating All The ConversationWhen you're hitting them up--either IRL or via text--you're the one doing all the engaging. You're asking them questions, you're sharing memes with them, you're linking them to some cool Soundcloud account you just stumbled across that you think they'd like. But they're not going out of their way to do the same. You're not getting an unexpected text from them out of the blue. They're not making conversation with you in the hallway out of their own free will. This is totally one-sided, and even if they're friendly and playing along with it, they're not interested in you if they're not engaging you, period. My So-Called Life
Their Responses To Your Texts Are All Really ShortWhether you send them a funny Vine (RIP), tell them about some funny incident on the way to English class, or ask their opinion about the latests season of Game of Thrones, their responses are always really, really short. Like, your crush is doing the absolute bare minimum when it comes to communicating with you. If all of their replies are, like, one sentence answers or a basic "haha," then it's time to move on to the next one. This one ain't for you. Submarine
They Always Wriggle Out Of PlansYour crush always seems enthusiastic when you suggest hanging out, going somewhere, or doing something. But at the last minute, they text you and claim that they're busy; something suddenly came up. Or, they'll tell you straight up that they can't meet up, but that you guys will find a day that works in the future. It seems promising, right? But don't expect much. You'll play phone tag forever trying to set up something that'll never happen. You'll keep inviting them to concerts or kickbacks, and they'll keep finding a reason not to go. This is just a "nice" way for your crush to reject your advances without totally hurting your feelings. Insecure
Your Crush Finds A Way To Incorporate Other People Into Your Conversation Or PlansYou're talking with each other one and one, and everything seems cool...but he doesn't seem interested in a private conversation at all. Why? Because he finds some way to wrangle in a friend or two nearby into your little chat. This is a way for him to make the conversation feel less intimate and more casual, and it's a clear sign that he's a little uncomfortable. That doesn't mean he doesn't like to hang out with you, it just means that he might get that you want something more out of this little convo than he does, and he's hesitant. Clueless
Your Crush Responds To Your Texts...EventuallyIf it takes forever for your crush to message you back, it might mean one of two things: They're either just a bad texter and do this to everyone, or you're really just not their priority. Trust, if you were someone they had a crush on in return, you'd see that "typing" bubble pop up pretty promptly most of the time. Instead, your crush takes hours or a whole day to reply to you. Don't bother. Submarine
Your Crush Talks About Liking Other People Right In Front Of YouOkay, maybe this isn't super subtle, but it's more subtle than your crush straight up saying, "Sorry, you're not my type." If y'all are hanging out--whether one-on-one or as a group--and your crush is expressing explicit interest in other people or is going on and on about how hot someone else is, consider abandoning your mission. Dazed and Confused
You Do Favors For Them, And They Don't Seem All That GratefulMaybe you're trying to get into your crush's good graces with flattery. Maybe you're sharing your notes from class that day they were out sick, or you baked some banana bread and offer them a hunk of it. What's their reaction? Do they seem more surprised than thankful? If so, that's a bad sign. They're not really into these acts of kindness because they're worried that it means their in your debt, and if they get the feeling that you already like them, they're not trying to find themselves in a situation in which that debt is a date. It's not that they're not thankful for the notes or the baked goods, they just don't want to give you the wrong impression. Pariah
What other signs are there that your crush just isn’t that into you? Know from experience? Tell us in the comments!