There are few things that feel more crappy than the moment you realize your best friend might be “cheating” on you with another friend. It starts when your BFF suddenly isn’t as available as she used to be – she’s not texting as much, and you guys don’t hang out as often. Then you start to notice that she’s being tagged in all of these Facebook photos with some other girl you didn’t even know she was that close to. So, obviously, you stalk this person until you find out that she’s posted an Instagram photo with your best friend claiming that she’s her best friend. You have to pretend that you aren’t jealous, but inside, you’re seething.
It sucks to grow apart from a close friend, especially when another friend seems to be moving in a little too close. Unfortunately, it happens a lot, especially during transitions – like, if you and your bestie are going to different colleges and you’re both living far from each other, chances are good that she’ll become super close with someone else. And even if you’re getting super close with another friend too, it will still hurt, and you’ll still feel slightly betrayed.
That said, it’s also easy to get paranoid and jealous a little too quickly – it’s not your fault, you’re just protective of your bestie! How do you know if she’s actually found a new best friend or if you’re still her number one? There are a few signs to look out for that will keep you on your toes:
The New Friend Gets Invited EverywhereIt might start out innocently enough: you guys have plans to go to a party, and she invites her new friend along. Totally fine! But then she starts inviting her everywhere - on your coffee dates, your casual hangouts, your trips to the mall. The worst is when you go over there and the girl is already there or just shows up without you even knowing it was going to happen. If your bestie is suddenly never seen without this person, it seems like they're getting pretty close. Source: iStock
But You Don't Get Invited Everywhere AnymoreIt's obviously possible to have more than one best friend, so if your bestie is inviting her new friend everywhere but also making sure you're always included, that's good - she's trying to maintain both close friendships. But if you suddenly find that she's no longer calling you, asking you to hang out, or bringing you along to parties and stuff, all while managing to be with this other friend 24/7, that's not a great sign. It could mean that she's just wrapped up in this new friendship, but it could also mean she's pushing you away... or even that she doesn't want you two getting close. Source: iStock
You Feel Like The Third Wheel When You're With ThemEveryone knows how it feels to be the third person hanging out with two people who are best friends. You can't help but feel left out from inside jokes, they're always describing some story that happened when they were together that you weren't there to witness, and they sometimes say things you just don't get. It's a little alienating. If you feel this way around your bestie and her new friend, it's not the best. Source: iStock
She Hasn't Asked You For Advice In A WhileIf this girl considers you her best friend, then she more than likely asks you for advice and fills you in on what's going on with her life - venting to you even if she doesn't expect you to do anything. If you find these conversations have slowed down or stopped, she's probably having them with this new friend. Does she no longer ask your opinion or advice? Or, if you give her advice, does she compare it to what the other girl said? It could mean - ouch - your opinion isn't quite as important as this other person's opinion. Source: iStock
They're All Over Each Other's Social Media PagesIf you can't go on Facebook without seeing them tagged in a photo together, scroll through Instagram without noticing an annoying #BFF caption of them, or log onto Snapchat without seeing them in each other's stories, it looks like you might be getting pushed out of the friendship. Social media can be really telling! Source: iStock
She Manages To Bring Up Her Name In Every ConversationA new close friendship can be really similar to a new romantic relationship - you want to talk about the person all the time, because you're excited about them. If you find that your bestie literally can not shut up about her new friend, it might be because they're getting super close. Source: iStock
She Doesn't Bother To Clue You In On StuffThink about what it feels like when you hang out with them: do they take the time to at least explain their inside jokes to you, or do they just laugh and say things like, "sorry, you had to be there?" Do they fill you in on the stories they're talking about, or do they say things like, "It's such a long thing, it's hard to explain?" If your best friend goes out of her way to fill you in on what they're doing and discussing, that's good! If she doesn't bother to make you feel comfortable or included, she's acting like kind of a jerk. Source: iStock
She Gets Annoyed If You Don't Seem To Like Her FriendIt can be hard to pretend to like a friend who is coming in between you and your bestie. Pay attention to how your friend acts if you ever say something insulting about her new friend. If she gets super defensive and angry, it's probably because she considers her a really good friend, and she's not interested in hearing you bash her. That's normal, obviously, but if she gets genuinely angry about it, it could mean she's over your friendship. Source: iStock
Have you ever had a best friend find a new BFF? How did you know? Tell us in the comments.