9 Signs Someone Is Definitely Being Fake Nice To You

Being fake nice is a part of life. It’s what you have to do whenever you’re working in customer service, speaking to your teacher or boss (or whoever is in charge), and getting to know bae’s new family even if they’re annoying AF. It’s hard to get by without knowing how to be fake nice, to be honest, because if we were all always 100 percent honest about our emotions, a lot of us would be… well.. screwed. That said, there is a time and a place for this kind of attitude. It’s acceptable to put on an act if not doing so would seriously screw things up. It’s not acceptable to be fake nice when you’re acting that way towards a loved one, or when you’re just trying to get something you want and hurting others in the process.

But how do you know if a friend is being fake nice or genuinely nice? Sometimes it can be hard to distinguish between fake nice and general politeness, and sometimes it can be hard to tell if someone actually likes you, or if they’re just being rude. Some people are really, really good at masking their true emotions! Even if they are, though, there are still some signs that someone is being fake AF, and knowing them in the back of your mind can come in handy. Avoid getting manipulated or taken advantage of by checking out these signs that someone is being fake nice. They’re all taken from this Ask Reddit thread, which has a lot of interesting debate on it! Check ’em out:

They Are Always Talking About The Bad Stuff Other People Are Going Through

A lot of the time, you can tell if someone is fake or genuine by the way they talk about other people. User coturnixxx says, "Fake nice people will constantly talk about the misfortunes of others and pretend to be concerned about the person when in fact they actually enjoy feeling sorry for him/her. Have a friend who does this a lot. Always says how 'sad' it is that so and so isn't doing too well at their new job, 'what a shame' that their SO dumped them, etc. It was always bad news about others that they relished sharing."

At first, that kind of conversation could make it seem like they're sympathetic about others, which could make them seem nice. But if they do it often, you'll see that the deeper meaning behind it is that they might actually enjoy discussing the crappy things others are going through, which isn't nice at all. And it also probably means they're talking about you in the same way to others.

Source: iStock

They Act Super Excited When They See You Even If You Aren't Close

If there's someone you suspect of being fake towards you, take note of how they act when they first see you - especially if you very rarely see them. User The_blurst_of_thymes says, "When you haven't seen them in a while, you were never very close, and they act like it's somehow painful for them to have been apart from you: 'You should give me a call and we should do something!' You know you won't call, they know you won't call, but somehow since they put the message out there, they consider it a win and manage to make you sound like a shit for not spending time with them."

Okay, yes - there are some genuinely nice people who act really excited and happy to see anyone, even people they aren't very close with. But a lot of fake nice people act overly amped to see someone they're being fake nice to - it's a vibe, and you'll be able to tell if that's what they're doing.

Source: iStock

They Do Nice Things Very Publicly

When someone is genuinely nice, they don't need to make a huge deal about it. They don't even feel the need to point it out! But when someone is fake nice, they're acting like that because they want everyone to think they're nice, and so they have to make sure everyone knows. User _ShortGirlProblems_ says, "They do things like donate or volunteer for charities, but have to brag about it to everyone they meet. Or a family member they don't really like is diagnosed with cancer and suddenly they're best friends with that person. Or they make you an elaborate birthday cake, but can't be bothered to know your favorite flavor or even remember that you're allergic to nuts - they just want the praise for making a pretty cake. They're only nice if it makes them look good or benefits them in some fashion."

Fake nice people want others to give them props for their behavior, so if it feels like your friend is only nice when it makes them look good to others... that's probably the only reason they're being nice.

Source: iStock

They're Always Talking About Someone Else

Again, pay attention to how someone talks about others to get a better idea of their character. User FollowsShinyThings says, "Overly pleasant to your face, while unnecessarily dumping on other people. While talking to those other people, they will be overly pleasant to their face, never addressing any issues they bitched about to you."

A lot of people gossip, and it isn't always a sign that someone is a fake person, but sometimes it is. If a friend is constantly talking about other people, but never brings up those issues to the other people, that's a problem - and they're probably doing the same behind your back.

Source: iStock

They Ignore You When Other People Come Around

One of the biggest signs that someone is being fake nice to you is how they act when someone else comes along. User kkkkinkee says, "Act nice when you're the only person they can talk to, but as soon as someone they know shows up you're invisible."

When I was in college, there was a girl who was really nice to me when we were by ourselves in class. She would talk to me, joke around, all that stuff. As soon as the "cooler" girl would come in, she would completely ignore me. It's an obvious thing, but it hurts, so it's also something we want to ignore. Pay attention to it! This is a fair weather friend who isn't really there for you.

Source: iStock

Their Actions Don't Match What They Say

It's said all the time, but it's true: actions speak louder than words, especially when it comes to fake nice people. User sexualramen says, "It's really hard going off of words and conversation alone, and if you're trying to go off that, there's a high chance you'll get burned. You get all those people who can seem super nice in conversation -- they remember your name, details, etc. -- but actually have agendas (coming off as genuine is something that can DEFINITELY be practiced). On the flip side, you get people who seem like boisterous, superficial people, but are actually super nice when you get to know them. It's best to go off actions. Does a person do kind things consistently when nobody else is paying attention? Is a person actually there for you consistently to do mundane but important things (like take you to the airport, etc.) when there's nothing to be gained? Words and mannerisms mean almost nothing in the grand scheme of things. Go off a personal track record -- that's way more reliable."

Source: iStock

They Never Remember Anything You Tell Them

Does the person you suspect of being fake nice never seem to know anything about you? That could be because they aren't really listening when you talk. User Magic_Fred says, "In my experience, fake nice people don't pay attention or remember conversations you've had with them, whereas actually nice people will remember things you've told them and refer back to them."

There was a lot of debate about this in the Reddit thread, because some people said they genuinely have terrible memories and it's not that they're being mean. I feel that, since I have a bad memory too. But this can still be a sign. If someone is genuinely nice, they'll remember at least a little bit - if they're fake nice, they might not even bother to try.

Source: iStock

They Change Their Attitude When You Say No

Here's a good test to try if you think someone is being fake to you: user DanSolo126 says, "Say no to them sometimes. When they don't get their way or what they want out of you, their true colors come through. A truly nice person won't keep pushing and try to get you to change your mind. They will usually respect your decision even if it's not a decision that helps them out. Obviously if they care about you and your decision is self destructive, they may be a little more pushy because they truly care even if they have nothing to gain."

Paying attention to how this person acts when you don't do things their way is important. Someone who is really your friend won't force you into things you've already said no to.

Source: iStock

They Always Make The Conversation About Them

This is the sign of a self-centered person, but also a fake one: they make everything, everything, about them. User MattyLlama says, "They'll always turn a conversation towards themselves. Fake Nice People are only being nice for the adoration of others and love to sing their own praises."

Source: iStock

You can follow the author, Jessica Booth, on Twitter or Instagram.


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