How Do You Prepare To Have Anal Sex?

Hey Heather,

My boyfriend really wants to try having anal sex, and I kind of want to try too. I’ve heard it feels good, but I’ve also heard it can be weird. Does having anal sex really hurt? Is it really going to make me poop? How can I prepare so that I’m ready? Please help! (80)

Anal sex can definitely seem intimidating if you’ve never done it before, even if you’ve been having p-in-v sex for a while. There’s no harm in being curious about it and trying it out, of course, but there are definitely some things you should keep in mind before doing the deed.

1. Make sure you’re into it. Don’t try anal just because your boyfriend wants to – make sure you want to do it too. You should never do a sex act you’re uncomfortable with just to please your bae, so just make sure you’re into the idea of this before you go for it. If you’re just “kind of” sure about it, then start slow, and communicate honestly so that you can stop if it doesn’t feel right.

2. Clean up the area. Believe it or not, having anal doesn’t mean your boyfriend is going to put his penis in and pull it out covered in poop. That said, there can be some leftover, uh, stuff in there that might get around while things are going down. So, clean up the are before you try it, just like you would with any other sexual act. Take a shower and give that area a little extra washing. Some girls like to give themselves an enema before anal (this is basically squirting water up your butt to clean it out), but it’s not the most comfortable thing in the world and probably isn’t necessary. If it makes you feel better, though, go for it! A shower should be fine, though.

3. Make sure you don’t need to go to the bathroom. Can you poop during anal sex? Well… yes and no. You’re most likely not going to have a full bowel movement right there on the bed, but it is possible that some might come out. So, make sure you haven’t eaten a huge meal before trying it. Also, keep in mind that a lot of girls say they feel like they have to poop during the act.

4. Keep condoms and towels nearby. A lot of people assume they don’t need condoms during anal because you can’t get pregnant. This isn’t the best idea. A guy should still wear a condom in case his penis gets in contact with poop particles. And towels should be kept nearby just in case.

5. Try to relax. Just like penetrative sex, anal will be more difficult if you’re nervous and stressed out, because that makes you clench the muscles more. Try to relax, and do a lot of foreplay to get yourself really turned on.

6. Buy lube. Lots of it! Lube is absolutely necessary if you’re trying anal sex, especially for the first time. Your butt doesn’t self lubricate like your vag does, and it will really hurt, or be almost impossible, to have anal without lube.

Good luck!

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