7 Easy Ways To Figure Out What Actually Turns You On

You know how you didn’t discover that you hated broccoli until you actually tried it? You can also probably remember the first time that you tried chocolate cake and realized that it was the best. thing. ever. The point I’m trying to make through food analogies is that we don’t know a lot of things in life until we actually give them a try. And that also includes the things that turn us on.

You might think that you should just know what turns you on because you’ve been living in the same body for X number of years, but it’s not like that. Often it takes a bit of ~*experimenting*~ to figure out what you like and definitely don’t. And that’s why you can have a big question mark over your head when bae asks you what you like.

If you’re new to the whole sex thing, it’s alright not to have an answer right away. But it is a good idea to eventually figure out an answer to it. Because it will only make sexy times better for you. To help you figure out what turns you on, try some of these easy tips.


Think Beyond Sex

When we think about turn ons, sometimes it's easy to get caught in the very specific act. However, turn ons are about more than that. Turn ons are the prelude to the actual P-in-the-V. Think about things around you. Think about touch, smell, taste. Don't be restricted and don't be afraid to experiment.

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Experiment With Yourself

If you're not ready to do some experimenting with bae, get to know your body first. Obviously you won't be able to experiment with everything, but you can at least cover some basic principles like whether you like things fast or slow, hard or rough, or you like a combination of all of them.

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Use Some Sex Toys

What turns you on isn't limited to what you do with bae. Sex toys can be a major turn on for some people. And if you have already discovered the *joys* of them, you could use them to experiment with other stuff that you could like doing with bae.

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Read About Other People's Turn Ons

Everyone is different, but it can be helpful to hear about other people's turn ons. Chances are there might be some things they're into that you might never have considered. Doing it online is also great if you don't feel comfortable talking about it with your friends. FYI: The Gurl Boards can help you out.

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Have An Experimental Session With Bae

Want to know what you like and don't like when you're with bae? Before you and bae are tangled up, talk to bae about having a specific session dedicated to figuring out what you like and another one dedicated to what he/she likes. That way you can establish some rules about what to do if you feel uncomfortable and want things to stop. It also stops someone from being offended if something doesn't go well because both parties know you're experimenting.

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Think About Your Fantasies

Do you imagine something specific when you're masturbating? Or have you ever had a really hot dream? Well, why not try to turn those into reality? If you're already dreaming about it, it's likely that you will really, really enjoy it IRL.

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Chat To Your Friends

Are you comfortable talking to your friends about sex? IF so, try talking to them about turn offs and turn ons. If your friends are more experienced than you, they can share their advice about what they like and what they don't. Just remember that everyone is unique so they might be into stuff that you might not like. However, it's always good to find out some new ideas.

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How have you figured out what turns you on? Let us know in the comments!

You can follow the author, Heather Cichowski, on Twitter.

 

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