Ask A Guy: How To Take Sexy Photos Without Taking Nudes

Hey Joel,

My boyfriend recently asked me to take some photos of me for his ”inspiration” when I’m not around. I want to make him happy, but I don’t really feel good about taking nudes. Is there a way to take sexy photos without taking nudes?


First and foremost – never, EVER do anything of this sort unless you’re not completely, 100% comfortable with the situation. It really is that simple. Sending nudes or even scantily clad photos is something you can’t undo (even via Snapchat), so I would think long and hard before you steam up the lens.

At its core, there’s really nothing wrong with wanting to keep your guy happy when you’re not together. Having a few sexy photos on hand is certainly a nice treat, as it makes it easier to recall super steamy recent times you had together. Also, knowing that he’s enjoying images of you instead of random internet porn is a plus.

However, sending photos like these requires a world of trust, along with a rock-solid relationship already in place. Like I said, these are the sort of thing you can’t unsend, and once he has them, there’s nothing you can really do to control who sees them. I am NOT saying he’s going to pass them along to his friends, but if things end between the two of you, ask yourself how comfortable you’d be with him still having those images.

No doubt he’ll give you all the assurances in the world that he won’t show them to anyone else, and chances are, he’s telling the truth. But again, we don’t know what the future holds, so be careful.

Also, your idea of sending sexy non-nudes is a great alternative. As far as those are concerned, you can just do whatever you’re comfortable with, which could mean taking pictures in an outfit that makes you feel attractive. Again, just be sure you’re OK with where those shots might end up. If it’s something you’d post on Instagram or a Snapchat story, you’ll be fine.

When it comes down to it, this is about the most personal decision you can make. If you really, truly trust this guy, and more importantly, WANT to give him this sort of thing, then it’s a judgment only you can make. Just be sure that you’ve considered and understand the possibilities of what might happen down the line, and if “future you” will be OK with what “right now you” chooses to do.

Best wishes,


Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.

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