Ask A Guy: What To Do If Your Crush Texts You But Won’t Ask You Out

Hey Joel,

This guy and I have been texting over Facebook messenger for a while. To make a long story short, it’s been something like this:

Him: You should call/ text me sometime I would love to get together for a bite….here’s my number $&@&$&

Me: That sounds great…here’s my number as well, looking forward to it….

Then…. crickets….. on both ends, and the whole thing starts again. What’s the deal? Is there anything else I should be doing?


To me, it sounds like your question falls somewhere between “be the aggressor” and “why are you bothering with this guy?” Not to be too harsh, but there comes a point where you need to cut loose guys who just play games, and spend your time finding a quality man.

For whatever reason, it sounds like this guy is just constantly wishy-washy, and that’s absolutely NOT the sort of person you want to date. Think about how this might play out if you were dating one another, and every time you wanted to make plans, this sort of thing happened. While I get that some guys get their act together once they’re in a relationship, this sort of first impression is far from a good one.

Chances are, he’s just testing the waters with you, to see if you’re available. I am guessing he pulls the same thing with other girls, and he’s just trying to keep you all on the line while he tries to make up his mind. You deserve far better, and if you already gave him your number and said you’re interested, the ball is completely in his court.

If you really want to see if there’s anything between you two, there’s nothing stopping you from making plans and inviting him along. Find a coffee shop, pick a time, and invite him. If he’s interested in you and maybe just a bit shy, this should get him out of his shell. However, if he is even the least bit hesitant, move on because he’s not worth it.

We all have busy lives and can’t be expected to answer every email and text we’re sent. However, if someone is truly interested in you, they’ll find a way to make plans, and not disappear whenever you actually try to see them. But remember, there’s nothing at all wrong with you taking the lead, and going after a guy you want.

Best wishes,


Joel Freimark has done a lot in life and seen even more. From last minute international travel to bizarre places to writing award winning books, he’s here to bring his wisdom to all your problems. He hosts a weekly advice series on Youtube and a music series also on YouTube. No question is too outrageous or personal, so go ahead and fire away! Follow him on Twitter.

Are you confused about a guy? Do you find yourself wondering, “What is he thinking?” Tell us everything in the comments! And if you have a question for Joel, email him at!

Ask A Guy: What To Do If Your Boyfriend Ignores Your Texts

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Posted in: Ask A Guy, Love Advice
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