There was one nerve wracking thought that plagued me when my boyfriend and I first became official: How long will this relationship last? Not the most romantic thought, for sure, but as someone who is a little neurotic and naturally nervous, it bugged me for ages. Fast forward to over three years later and I still have those thoughts every now and then, attempting to trip me up and plant seeds of doubt. But after lasting this long and seeing other people’s relationships come and go, I’m feeling a lot more confident about our ~lasting power~.
Now, does that mean that we’re going to be together forever? I mean, I hope so, but who knows? Life is weird and full of nasty surprises, twists and turns. But the success of your relationship isn’t just a matter of fate. A lot of it comes down to how you treat each other and deal with conflict! No relationship is perfect, but if you want to know if your relationship has a chance of surviving for the long haul, check out these eight signs that you and your SO are going to be together for a long time. Fingers crossed!
You Can List More Things You Like About Your SO Than Things You DislikeYou know that things aren't looking too great when you have more to complain about when it comes to your girlfriend or boyfriend than anything positive. Sit down for a second and think of all the things you don't like about your SO. Nobody is perfect, and neither is your partner, so you must have some things. Okay, now think about the things you do like about your SO. If the things you like about them outmatch the dislikes quantitatively and in terms of overall importance, you're already in a better position than a lot of other couples. Submarine
You Do Things For Each Other That You Might Not Like, But You'll Do It Because You Like Being Around Each Other So MuchI'm not much of a hiker; I like nature in small doses, but the idea of going on a hiking trip isn't exactly my idea of fun. But my boyfriend loves it. And you know what? I still end up going on hiking trips with him, not because I've been converted to the joys of the outdoors, but because I like spending time with him so much that I'll even go hiking for some bonding. And likewise, my boyfriend is a bit of a homebody who isn't exactly one for going to big parties...but as a total social butterfly, I love it. He bites the bullet and goes to parties with me, because it's a way of spending time with me. Look, I'm not saying you have to always do things you don't want to do because you should enjoy being around bae all the time. You should only do what you feel comfortable doing. But it's a big sign that you two are in a happy relationship that'll stand the tests of time if you're willing to do things you're not too into with your partner because you value quality time with each other. That '70s Show
You Don't Fight Very OftenEvery couple fights, but let's be real: Some couples fight a lot more than others. You know the ones. You're probably thinking of a couple that bickers non-stop right now, aren't you? You look at them and wonder how they make it work. Well, here's the deal: They're either making it work with a ton of baggage which makes their relationship a lot more miserable than it needs to be, or they just won't last. If you and your SO only have full blown arguments every now and then, you're already way ahead of the curve. Give yourself a pat on the back, honestly. Clueless
You Talk About/Resolve Your Arguments Soon After You Have ThenMy boyfriend and I don't fight very often, but when we do, we always talk about it, before even letting the dust settle. You know you're in a relationship with stay power when none of your fights with bae are left unresolved. The idea of just letting an argument go without confronting how it started in the first place just doesn't compute for you. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and apologize for acting out or misunderstanding, sometimes your SO will be the one who owns up to their faults. Either way, y'all are handling it. Do you realize how many couples don't do that? Do you realize how many couples are full of resentment because they don't know how to do that? Consider yourselves lucky! My Mad Fat Diary
You Really Don't Care About Each Other's Social Media/PhoneOkay, my relationship isn't perfect, but let me say this: I cannot relate to people who obsess over what their partner posts on social media or what their partner is doing on their phone, because my boyfriend and I trust each other enough to not give a damn about any of that nonsense. And frankly? It's not healthy to do that in a relationship. You shouldn't be peeking over his shoulder to see who he's texting. He shouldn't be monitoring who likes your selfies on Instagram. This type of behavior is both controlling and paranoid and it's really not cute. A stable couple that prioritizes trust knows that. If your relationship reflects that, then you're probably doing pretty damn well as a couple. Some Girls
You Don't Need To Be Around Each Other All The TimeThey say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, and while that doesn't mean that long-distance relationships are the key to a great relationship (they usually don't turn out too well, guys), it might help support another point: Giving each other some space is mandatory if you want your relationship to last. A lot of couples who fall in love hard and fast end up getting burned out and fizzling because they are all over each other all the time, especially toward the beginning. It's like suffocating clinginess is all they know; they need to do everything together all the time, and it might seem cute but it's really just a recipe for disaster. If you and your partner can be away from each other and do your own thing from time to time, that's really important. You two have to be your own people, you know? Also, you won't get tired of each other so quickly if you're able to spend time away from each other without freaking out. And those times you will spend together will just feel more special. The Incredibly True Story Of Two Girls In Love
You're Really Bad At Maintaining Passive Aggressive BehaviorWe all have our moments--what, like you've never given your girlfriend or boyfriend the silent treatment before?--but it's really hard to keep up passive aggressive behavior if you're in a healthy relationship. You just can't keep up the BS for long enough. If you're able to let your passive aggression last for days on end? There might be trouble ahead. Skins
You've Already Outlasted A Lot Of Other Couples You KnowThis doesn't mean that you'll be together forever, but it's at least a pretty good indicator that you're going to be in a relationship for a good while. When you notice your friends drifting in and out of relationships while you two remain steady, it means that you probably have something that other couples just don't. Maybe you have better communication skills, or a stronger sense of trust. Whatever it is, keep it up. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
If you’re in a long-term relationship, what do you think is the secret to your success? Tell us in the comments!